Time will tell?

Complicated.

I do understand how it feels, it feels suck. But i do not know how to answer, call me indecisive, bad or selfish. Why we human make simple things so complicated? or is it just me? 

Sometimes I might be an ignorant but I am not cold blooded. sorry.

Trust me it does not feel good to hurt other's feeling, it makes u feel like a jerk.

God, tell me and lead me...is Oz the one for me?

behind the mask

Can we look the same if we remove our mask?

There's tears behind smile; there's smile behind a cold expression. it's not that we want to be in this way, it's just that you feel safer to hide behind a wall;a wall that not everyone is patient and persevere enough to climb over...everyone is too busy to deal with their own lives.

Sometimes it just takes too much courage to open your heart and say the words that you really mean it; often, it turns out that what we say and what we actually wanted to say is not synchronized.  And what if misunderstanding arose from there? It's not unusual that we choose to keep quiet and let it be. Slowly, people distanced and disappear in your life. who to blame? 

We do not have the guts to confess and express freely because we are afraid of getting hurt and rejection, because the feeling is simply awful, and no one wants to look fragile in front of the rest.We keep guessing what's in another person's mind, how they think about us, how they judge us etc etc etc; and since we don't have the guts to be true to our feelings, we end up use our imagination to assume the conclusion, which might end up creates doubt, disappointment and resentment. 

However, if we keep hiding behind the safe zone and do not step out,  miracle is not gonna happen and nothing is gonna change. Take a step forward and we might be surprised with what it turn out to be. The question is, who, when and what can trigger this step to be moved?

July 2014

after so many years, finally officially a Singaporean. honest speaking, this does give me some sense of belongings; i guess its a good thing.

is this part of the plan for me?  bring me to oz please, at least a tour, and, i beg for your guidance for the next step of my life. i know i have been asking for your help, but i know You are always there to help me right?

thanks LORD.

2014 April

indeed. time heals.
recently feeling tired and lost about my work...but i guess it will be fine as time goes by...
i am still a lost child here, show me the way...

motivated again to learn canon in d...learnt so many things and gave up half way...disappointed in myself sometimes...but for canon in d, i wanna pick up violin again! and the dusty guitar at home...need better time management.

你好嗎

miss my mum, should i try that.........

as time goes by, 越黎越多的人會漸行漸遠， 有時候，想聯絡，但係竟然發現開始失去那個say hi 噶勇氣。無論如何，至少希望可以係internet 見到d update, 希望大家安好；希望你安好。你在我生命留下過陽光， 希望你記住噶，係初相識噶我，而且，可以原諒後來噶我。

不聯絡不代表忘記，只是失去了勇氣罷了。想念你們。

唉。 好像沒有甚麼考車運 T_T 

天吖， 讓我過了吧！！！！！！！！

mum said something that makes me feel better..." at least its not failing my academic exams".

isn't it true? 看開點，總會找到自我安慰的方法吧。

i dream of my mum and my grandpa who had passed away last night...it's strange...he appeared in my dream after so many years....hmmm i miss you grandpa...i miss you...mum...

and today is really a bad day...never met such rude person in my whole tuition life.....goshh.....

this is the first time being requested to meet the mum before tuition starts, and need to bring along my certs and stuff...she asked me to reach at 8.10. so i was early, around 7.50? she was like " i ask you to come on 8.10, why you come so early, please wait there, or talk to my son first". and then guess what, she continue to watch her korea drama...i was like @@ WHAT? So she set this ridiculous timing at 8.10 is all because of the korea drama, she never think of this timing makes me stuck in the middle and no activities can be plan.  VERY rude.  a normal person won't do this right? the person already here and just put aside and continue the drama. right.

and i talked to the son, and found out that his emaths is A2..i was like huh then still need tuition, he shrug. geez...so can tell how high expectation the mum is. so she inspect all my certs and results and stuff and even ask to see my IC. i was like ' huh this is like privacy" shes like nvm lar will forget one. so i showed lo. but i really dont feel comfortable with all these. just like 審犯。 she said contact my agent again wor...but nvm i won't wanna come here again. this is toooo scary.

好恐怖啊， 真係咩人都有。

有d人，真係招呼一次就夠啦，搞到like 應份甘， 我去別人家食飯都會不好意思，帶sor banana 啦, plus this is not my own house leh...他們不介意，我都5好意思lo... 有d f 可以隨時來，有d，就5了。

visited s.e.a aquarium...eh....not worth for the time quene-ing. will never go sentosa during holiday.

can touch the starfish...

the jellyfish reminds me life of pi

I want to contact u,but i know i can't...

真係5好隨便翻看舊照片，因為看著看著就笑了，但到最後，看著看著，就哭了。。。
太難。。。

原来爷爷入噶地方，比我想象中噶恐怖，听讲嬷嬷吾愿意入去探望，因为去到果边，见到噶情景，可能会令距更伤心，同胡思乱想。so i asked my mum, does that means, there is no way for my grandpa to return home? and if my grandma is not going there to visit, then when can they meet each other again?

we don't know.
really holding my tears.

grow up itself is not scary...but seeing your families around you getting old..is....

I am just sux at departure. can everyone just be by myside please?