sux man

Will be away to HK and GZ from 26th to 5th Feb, a super last minute decision, it sounds funny but I don’t know why just suddenly feel like going Disney Land, trying to find some happiness there or what? But I am only able to treat daddy go, I wonder when we can go as a complete family…can’t believe it, it’s been more than 10 years since I saw my mother? I don’t think anyone is able to image how it’s like unless you are the one who’s experiencing it.

Waiting, yes waiting is really the worse feeling in the world for me at the moment.

As I got bonus this month, so I plan to bring more money for this trip, since it’s winter there and I’ve not much winter clothes, I thought I can have a good shopping and also, able to treat my relatives yum cha, dinner etc, and also, to cover daddy’ expense for two weeks, lol which I think I will feel quite happy as finally I am able to give instead of take, and which, also make me feel tat I’ve finally grow up a bit?

Arh damn but now, my wallet is suddenly so tighten up as I’ve spend nearly 1.7k for just one teeth. Yea can’t believe it man is 1.7k SGD. FAINT! Cannel treatment, few years ago my right side I rmb is cost about 300 plus,,,now is 5 times it…dentist is like the thief whom can steal your money legally! And you can’t say NO.

As our co. will sponsor us 200 bucks for dental so I thought of using it to fill the tooth and also to wash my teeth, but then the dentist told me that the hole is too big and unable to fill anymore, the only way is to do the root canal treatment, which I roughly know what it’s about and I know it’s expensive, I was like thinking, huh again. Okay so I asked the price and I didn’t expect he told me it is around 950 bucks, nearly 1000? Wah it’s like WOW. I asked if I don’t do and leave it like that then? He said cannot lar, eventually it will drop off, so like no choice, that is an important teeth, I lost one already, cannot lose another one liao. So start lor, then half way he told me my teeth is very complicated and is beyond his skill to cont, need to divert me to another specialist, wah, BEYOND SKILL, What a phrase, sommore he’s the dentist that I quite trust in de leh,now told me this, bo bian, I must cont so I follow his instruction and went to paragon’s level 11. dental clinic opens at PARAGON, walao, supre high price, except that, I do feel the difference as the equipment, environment all these are really more Pro the feeling~ then this side along, 1200 k plus, and Saturday still need to go back bishan one to do the crown thing, which total will be 460 plus…SUPER BIG HOLE IN MY POCKET, suddenly I lost all the plans as it’s such a big sum of money that I spend,

Suddenly feel health is so important, no matter how much u earn, if you are not healthy, eventually all the money will be eaten up by doctors and dentist!
Felt my tooth is so expensive now and must watch out what I eat already? Super no mood..and first time got and MC and is due to dental? Kind of weird.

And I really HATE AUSSIE EMBASSY! No news yet and hello sem is going to start, they are super irresponsible and the agency told me there is no way to complain. What kind of shit is there sia. Really start to hate them! Okay althu my case is more complicated but also dun need to drag till so long? I just feel that they are wasting my life! So I guess I shall prepare the worse, deferment and also another country?

And if I start my practical, am I able to complete b4 the deadline? It’s all about time, DAMN AUSSIE EMBASSY! But I don’t even know who I can complain to, hate the government, feel so helpless,

Simply nth seems right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hanging nowhere, I am working for sth I don’t really like but I can do nth right now, I just have to hang here, but its seems the performance is getting worse, and seeing people anyhow give you comment without any logic and evidence just made you so pissed off, I am getting insecure already as I really don’t know what’s in their mind and how they think about you, for now, I just wish to faster end the work and leave, I don’t wish to have more communication already.

torturing...

finally, the high comm there stop asking me for documents, but anyway, that is the last doc that i think i can provide already. based on what the agent said, status now:PENDING.

now i reallly hate the word pending, pending means you have to wait and wait and nothing you can do...you just have to wait for them to tell u the outcome, well, if is a good news, of coz i dun mind the wait, but then wat if not? if i just sit here and wait, i am gonna lost everything and going nowhere, why can't they be more sympathetic and care other's feeling? wait for a day more means another torturing day for me, now it makes me dun dare to switch my hp to silent mode, coz scared miss any calls, and i will keep checking my hp if there is any missed call, make me abit like oversensitive person, keep looking at hp...arhhhh hate it.........working like a zombie and waiting like the ant on the hot pan...........totally a torturing feeling........more over, i duno if should start another application, coz if i withdraw half way...i am gonna lose some money...DAMN SO now if oni they let me know the outcome faster ..then i will know my next step........................................



this period is really sux for me........no direaction and lost............hatesssss it..................................................... when can it end?

Quick Update again

~End of oct till start of nov eldc chalet

~next

~FINALLY PASS FTT AT THE 3RD ATTEMPT.conclusion, if wanna pass, better go and study. but then again, wonder when can start practical as things still unkown YET.HAIS,again.

~always nice to eat cake man... ate the cakes that i like on friends' bday...which are awfully choc and the mint choc cake...LOL

Co.'s D&D at the end of Nov.

vain sia...curly hair for a nite. maybe in the future will perm? well, finally get a blonde patch lol..but think will dye back soon lar...at least finally tried~lol

sat will be collecting the running pack and sunday will be the standard charter marathon already. I am like didn't go and train and not wearing a proper running shoe...gonna suffer man...just hope won't puke and be able to complete the whole race, but still can't imaging keep running for more than an hour...
and recently realise sth weird, recently only, i feel like i lost/forget the feeling of like some1?just like kind of numb and can't recall how its like? besides, i like to tease girls? hmmm...

boring entry

Cindy Ong, give me the pics to BLOG~~~~~~

Okay...today was seriously stress up, serious, can't even sure what i am doing during work, just knew that i am keep doing and doing, hope nth goes wrong coz i am just "doing"...hais...quite insecure when u don't have the confidence in what you do yea...

damn why must they torture me like that? when i thought all the docs are ready, then tell me still need this still need that, then ask me send this and get that, even when the docs are so true and completed, they still got doubts and ask for more. hello, you simply say u want this, but what i need is to send things here and there. I GOT Not much time, damn it's really killing me, waste my time, also make me stuck in the air, i can't plan anything. damn. i really hope that i can directly talk to the officer, her/his brain stuck izit? Can they process faster? really hates this feeling, super super insecure and lost.

saw this tag, and suddenly recall that last time used to have few gals that called me "lao gong", hmm thinking back, like quite sweet huh? mayb i should find a new wife to call me lao gong le?hmmm...

well, i think i am fine that lost contact with some pple, i shall not give a damn also, no point one-sided, don't have to cherish the frenship if the other party don't even make effort? BYE...take care.

guys are getting weird and hard to understand, and i don't trust love as much like i do before i guess? it seems so hard for guys to remain faithful? i don't even trust my father, i keep asking my mother stop being soft hearted, always listen to him and give in to him, now i am still waiting for the visa to approve, on the other hand, my father is only care about his money because he wanna buy stocks, damn, super disappointed at the moment i heard about that, does he ever care about my future? WE NEED Money and now he only care about his STOCK? and honestly i really doubt if my dad is being faithful, i don't trust any men,there are just so many temptation outside, and my mother's backbone is too hard i guess, she agree to let him take back the money once it's done. WTh, in my whole life, did he ever care about my feeling and my study? well like other says, it's quite amazed that without parents by my side, i didn't gone bad? yea i wonder why also, sometimes i also wonder how i grow up like this also...family? i can't really rmb the feeling of that. sad? well at least compare to some, i am able to buy things that i like? so what? you can never make up for the love that i lack of. nowadays, how many love ones can last forever?

you simply flirt with everyone, or just that i think too much? stop flirt like this, it will makes me wonder. i can't sure if i sense right sometimes. hais.

laid back

just somehow feel that october's quite a good month for me, mood's been kinda good.

okay finally made the decision, chosen university of queensland over UNSW,well, honestly, since duno when, i kinda like UNSW, i don't know is because of its name or impression or what, just like it, so i guess i somehow feel abit upset that i didn't choose it, but since both school are about the same standard, then must think about the cost already, then, i choose the shorter duration one, the cost is quite a big difference. but of cuz, i am scared if i really got to go queensland, i will be alone then.TOTALLY ALONE. if syd, at least got mother and pple i know, but, unsw is too ex...HAIS. aniway, few more weeks i will know my near future, hopefully things goes smooth~ i am working aimlessly now as this is not what i want to do, i am like working to pass the time as well as earning money, but nonthless,i started to get used to the workplace, thu i am still blur sometimes.

11-12oct bintan kelong, i wanna go back to the sea again. really nice.i hope i can improve on my swimming skill and be more brave~ banana boat is fun thu i got mani injuries for that.


a really good getaway.

time to get a shades?

next, ice skatin with cols. fun too, and go vogue after that, drink abit already cannot liao...weak lu.

end of this month, 3 days 2 night chalet. yea man~hope to have fun.

hmm recently try to see what's facebook about, and found out that he got one too, and he's new and duno how to use as well, but won't add him at the moment yea..also he might not accept.watever,aniway, his look more pai kia now? hais. well honestly, if i really got to leave here, mayb i will wanna ask u out and ask u to answer some of my doubts...whatever.

DJ Shog~ trance?

nice.

nth is the same anymore...

suddenly i realise that, i actually can't rmb well what i've done, and if i don't write it down, i am going to lose all these memories but anyway, some i can't really rmb already, so i tink try to recall some recent events.

1.most of the ingredients for making coffee pork is ready, as my aunty's having a food stall, so she got quite a number of it, so now i nee to get 500g of the spare ribs, coffee oil and maltose, i can start my hands on, provided i really can find a day and guai guai stay at home and do, coz the marinate part already takes up about 3 hr.

2.i abit reluctant to teach my p5 boy nowadays, sometimes he is quite enthu during the tuition, but when he is not, it can be super irritating, besides, sometimes he don't know how to show respect to his teacher, hais see how le...aniway gonna take over ray's student maybe for like 2 months? hopefully this student will be better, since he's already a sec 2 boy, but still prefer if ray faster "take" it back as i find it abit tiring if teaching two kids at the same time, don't dare to imaging how tired i will be yet man~

3.Here it goes comex fair again. one year ago, i met him during the show when we selling gprs. hais thinking back, how time flies, it's been a year already, it was sweet then, but now? i guess he is happy flirting around, and i am still keep thinking abt the past, when can i completely get over it? it's alreay more than 6 months! i feel so useless that i still keep thinking abt tis everyday, it keep pops up in my mind, but i know he don't feel a thing and why can't i feel the same way like he do? it sucks.

and after this show, realli feel tired to work at IT fair le...not as energetic and enthu as b4, the sales is not good, and it will just makes u miss the poly life badly. hais if oni we don't have to grow up and step into the working life, i still feel insecure when working at the business firm, it seems that not everyone is as nice as you thought, why can't the communication be a more friendly one?

4.i don' know what's wrong, used to feel clubbing is abit wasting money and aimless lifestyle, but sometimes it can be fun? the atmostphere and the music sometimes is quite nice. last friday zouk, but ysd's PLAY is the most happening one to me, as the whole dance floor is actually filled with gays and i tink there is less than 10 gals there oni? they are kissing and holding hands. before i visited this club i didnt know that there are so actually so mani gays in our society, after ysd, if u are a gal and u see what i saw, it's actually quite disappointed as some of them are quite good looking and their dressing is style, imaging the pretty boy that dance besides you only likes guys, what's going on man? but at the same time, i feel quite comfortable with them around, they seems friendly and really enjoy themselves, not bad. and then, i keep saying him look like gay, now i feel that is so true! coz some gays i saw, is actually like his style, as in the dressing, and maybe the feeling. i think he should be convinced by me now, as he really did attracted some gays. then i suddenly imaging, what if i see him in this gay club? should i be happy that he become a gay? lols.but i tink impossible lar...he enjoy flirt with gals more i guess.

5.the date is approaching, think by mid oct, i should start the visa thingy already, i kinda scared of the outcome, so before the result comes out, currently i abit feel like live without aims, slack around, working just to get the money as my mind is still not in it. PRAY HARD AGAIN AND AGAIN.

6.Watched boys over flower, too sweet already as in this world, like so impoosible has such a perfect guy, handsome, rich and so loyal to gf. jue zhong nan ren liao.



7.still havent take the green belt...and how? should i transfer? hais...

8.tmr is zhong qiu jie already, gotta go over ky house to eat. hais when can i have a complete family zhong qiu jie?

9.quite good to meet up some old frens again, brings back the memories of those days, but some of them it's like so hard to meet again ya...it's kinda scary that u feel that some pple is just like is going to disappear in your life even u wanna them to stay, this feeling is very very horrible and really don't know how to describe it.


lastly, i tink is a bad idea to read your own old blog entries, it makes u think alot and wonder how come we cannot write the way like we used to write last time, a more interesting way. if only we can turn back time and nv grow up. feel so lost again after so long.












some guys eh..ask them out like so hard lor...bo xin sia...

mix feeling

been busy around yet still thinks alot...

i am getting worst....i realli wanna be a punctual person, i am feeling super irresponsible right now...no matter how serious i am during work...i know being late for work already spoilts everything...i am feeling very bad for that seriously yet at the same time...i keep repeating the same mistake...i wonder why am i like that? i realliii wanna change~!

honestly when pple ask me if i like my job, i just simply say out i don't know, no feeling, not say like, not say don't like as well. most importantly, the aus thing realli kills me, i am like waiting for the day to settle it, but still choosing betw the schools~ i need to bargain for two years instead of 3....it's tiring man...keep sending and waiting emails, kills me. at the same time, i realli realli scared the visa will be rejected, if that realli happens i realli will feel the end of the world i guess....BLESS ME PLS! i am still wandering around hais...

sometimes feel quite insecure as well, as u won't know when others are PMS-ing, hais, and quite scared when sth's screw up, it makes u nervous. hais duno le

hmm

after writing the previous post feel beta liao so no feel liao so remove it.

zzz bth myself...didnt study ftt then go and take the test end up fail, waste time and money. zzzz cannot like that liao...

hp nv spoilt...lols juz bo batt datz why cant turn on, scared myself.

no more eye candy liao...back to the normal dry office le...hais....

tiring...

time passes really fast...i seem abit used to my job already, thu it's like less than 2 months only?
but also, as time goes by, i know myself better, i know i don't like this kind of work, this kind of environment, it seems easier and relax to talk to people in school environment ya? also, my punctuality really lousy which i really wish to change...then i realise i don't really like to follow rules, i don't like formal wear, so if only i got enough capital, and with the knowlege on how to run a business, i really wanna have a small buisness like food stores with my family, simple and nice...hmmm but it's so hard, firstly haven't form a family, secondly no capital yet~

now suddenly really feel the pressure about money issue, cause like so many fees need to pay and my mother this time like don't give in...not like last time i say i poor then she help abit, because i m working already, no excuse to ask money from her already eh...

sometimes really wanna cry it out loud to feel better, now all the pressures make my heart feels kinda heavy.

although school life is good, but sometimes i am still glad dat poly is over, coz looking back, it ain't happy throughout all the 3 years, and sometimes, i don't feel like get in touch with some people, well...

and why is it so hard to get over it~and i m now like being controlled, hope that after get what my mother wants me to get, i can get what i get as well, i wanna experience a new lifestyle, and i know it's gonna be super tough...poor life over there? lols...

and guys are really getting disguisting! what's in their mind? yucks.

i can blog during work today sia..can see how free i m today...zz but i dont like lei..coz act busy is hard~

i wanna get license and fly away from here. but then? after that? where will i belong in the future?

quick update

the resutls better than expected.

well, but think mother still prefers me to work than study?

see how it goes le.


6th april - tkd grading. eh but think there like abit cheat money leh? like nv teach properly?
14 to 18 april macau trip . till then.


guess still not recover completely. it takes time i guess.

fren ask me...nx time dun be so silly already...don put in all the trust and emotions into a relationship, coz in the end.. will only hurt badly. but i was like answer, this kind of feeling...how to control rite? u can't control the level of love you put into dat person...and for me, once in a relationship, i juz can't control, and will put 100percent of love,trust and care for that one. but yes, in the end, hurt badly, again and again.but i reallllllly love him....and i realli think he is good, but they ask me...he might nt as good as what u think..don't just keep thinking about the good pts of him...it will onli hurts more. but, i can't think of ani bad pts of him nw, the most hurtful things is the things he did to me now, and i really don't undertand.

when will guys wanna settle down, why they still wanna play, why they just let go like that?
but for now,i still pretending, till exam ends. i think the result won't be much diff, but i realli still wanna try, even though i know i m gonna get hurt again.

why love betrays me when i trust it so much? my world has broke down...help me...

人群里面那个我把幸福遗落那曾经走过的路口我停了你却走我想捂住我的耳朵听不见你说爱就在此刻松手分手放手我猜不透不猜透和你背对背的走原来怪我没有没有爱情的天分你才要走我想要学会自我催眠痛觉会少一些潜意识作祟想着想到失眠我躺在没有你的房间寂寞更加明显我渐渐的自我催眠却回不到从前等着红灯那个我还会向前走也许那幸福的执着在下一个路口专属铃声我还留着却静静沉默在我们之间爱了放了散了我会不说不想说怕说了也没有用现在我的幽默只是掩饰着心痛我的难过聪明再多一些我走在没有你的世界却走不到永远慢慢闭上双眼

exam timetable

12-FEB-08 (TUE)
12:30PM - 02:00PM
BM0516
GLOBAL SUPPLY CHAIN MANAGEMENT (WK 18)
grp ZB
E.308
seat 19

13-FEB-08 (WED)
12:30PM - 02:30PM
IT3503
INTERNET SYSTEM SECURITY& ADMINISTRATION
grp 03
G.221 (Z3)
seat 141


Also, uni admission period. online application period- feb.
oversea uni preparation. (nz,ca)

zzz shld be doing proj but i m writing blog now?

is this sem's proj too hard...or is i slack?

not as much confident as b4 in this sem, but no matter what, must get them done, can't afford to fail...no way man.

fri to nx monday will be working at centrepoint 7-11...hmmm

and 2008 is coming...nt much hard feeling but somehow, still looking forward ya? after all, it's so called a new start...

i think it's still somehow not easy for me to open up and express myself the way i wish to? maybe coz...my family's nt with me for so long? few years then see cousins once?so like nt realli good at communicate and build relationship with people...maybe coz of the lack of family bonding that makes me lack of the feeling of secure and so eager to find a shell to hide inside?sigh. really. kinda envy people that have siblings and have family outing.

enough of emo-ing. work hard...for the future. though still...fates decides.

updates

internet marketing:
ica2 individual project - 18th jan 2008
ica2 project - week 17( feb?)


global supply chain:
ica project due - 7th jan or 11th

entre:
ica 1 part c - 14th jan
ica3 indi test - 21st jan
entre day - week 16

internet security:
ica 2 chapter4,6,7,8 - week13or 14
case study 10%

java:
practical after term break
assignment,written test

not forgotten...
EAIPJ
update the blog also.

omg.good luck.



baby gave me a bracelet from mintmark& co for xmas, cute...love it...and the red box with the snow flake is nice...

but...as long as i have you...enough le...

tuesday

still raining now...when will it stop so i can go cut hair with anna later...zzzzz...make a post b4 i off to bathe...uh huh...

9sept to 8oct will be away from Singapore...hope can enjoy myself and...forget all the unhappy stuff for some time...

sometimes feel like isolated my self from the world really...also don't know why...sometimes i am thinking...sometimes m i treating somethings too seriously? and what drift people apart?

i think i shall keep reminding myself... back to the old me...so to make things simpler and make self feel happier...

for now..abit like free from the feelings for ahem ahem ahem ahem le bah...now what worries me most is my future? hais...upon graduation...then this keep troubling me...mum kinda keen wanna me to work at least for a year first...to get a PR first bah...got a hou lu sth like dat...but of coz deep inside my heart...i wanna furthur study...we can't deny that...it's nt easy to pick up study again when u don't keep in touch with it for a long time...like rusty? i hope i got the determination to pursue what i want to do...a diploma is really nt enuff nowadays ba...and i really wanna school life to cont...haix...but money pressure, mother's side...reality everything...i guess i don't have a choice right now...

MONEY...haiss....can't deny...sometimes i m thinking...if we don't have to worry abt the financial side...things will be so much more easier...

working life...honestly...i tinking i m nt ready yet..and also...i m kinda afraid of it?

simple life is nt so easy after all...sigh...

the past few weeks...

firstly...last friday watched "bu neng shuo de mi mi" with cindy, lala,fatt and koufu...GOT FEEL ARHHH...sweet and touching...omg...keep hui mei~

this pic was taken after the "LAN GAME" outing...memorable...after lan went to esplenade area to ton awhile...miss...

Again...National Day...but don't know since when...i don't really like my bday is on this day le...lazy to say the reasons le...but...still...thanks for all the surprises~BI 0506 peeps, Eldc&Bsu Peeps, Ex srjc Ld Peeps, and keke and ning...really appreciate it...

but then i am thinking...when can i celebrate with my family? haix...

Last friday is Eldc Last day...haix...honestly felt like is my last day as well, really used to the life with them...bu she de...really wanna hug them...haix..next week when i walk pass eldc room, there is no one for me to smile at le? miss the lab that filled with them...arhhh!! also, i know that,haix...there's sure nt the same anymore...distance do matters really...hope still can have outing...esp the nite cycling~~hmmm

and next week, will be my last week at bsu,tep le...even harder to see them le...hmmmmm....

really enuff of the feeling of comes and goes le...it really hurts...

haix...and even the road of study is so complicated,without money and things, u can't even choose the place u wanna study and the things u wanna do...hao fan arh...i can't see the future? very mess up...who knows maybe i need to work first then can cont study? haix...who knows...

he will be my secret. hidden.

ysd watch "die hard4" with ElDC peeps....erm...nt really like action movie but...tink the movie okay ba...fell asleep for a very short while coz too tired...but enjoyed being with them...hope there are more outings...

thought i can't deny that, distance really matters, and somehow...haix...i no longer in eldc, but, just hope things won't change much...can things stay in its way?

tonite...wow...rejoined TKD again...bring back my childhood memories! miss tkd...it's like donkey years ago...lolx...but abit paiseh sia coz there are lots lots of kids, but surprising anna prefers this atmosphere than kick boxing in nyp, she said don't really like the people there, rather be with the kids...okay some kids are kinda cute? erm...and the gal who taught us today...um...handsome gal? hmmm hmmm....ANNA don't ps arh...i will motivate u to go for lesson...tkd is nice.

lastly,realise that i can't talk normally and be myself when infront of some people...then i start to think...maybe i shall just don't take it too hard, since i can't even be comfortable with them, my converstaion with them...erm...i guess is kinda casually as well, as in...hi, tok some crap, then ...bye?

kinda sad, but , rather than i act shou rite. i rather don't talk much, if there is no such need, i don't wanna be fake. no point forcing myself anymore? let it go.

lol what am i talking?

and i m very confused...really...but i know it's impossible, i don't wanna get hurt, so...it's safter to keep it to heart.

the past months

long time no blog... lolx.1 of the small reasons is that, very lazy to create google mail...when u r lazy, u can be very lazy.......

too many things had happened...abit lazy to type also...

my attachment at IBM 's gonna end this friday, as well as My Nafa Arts...when things come to the end, then you will cherish the time that left...haix...abit bu she de...For IBM, abit used to the long journey already...and the environment...marketing is actually not bad as in can go for events...eat nice food ...haha....and of course...the people here...miss...For art...it's like already a year, and the teacher is kinda friendly as well...haix...why must thing has an end.

(ps.jacky is not frm my department...hahaha)

Besides...really dun really want Tep leh...none of the class gals with me also...then i don't want waste time play game all those in school...no life? but since it's coming...just hope that it's better than what i think ba...

then currently taking up the hair dressing course...still cont to find cake or cooking course bah...plan for my future housewife style...lolx...

lastly...hmmm....it's already like 2 months plus liao...and i seem to be okay? but when his name or photo or if i heard anything about him...my heart still beats...so it still affects me i guess? haix...

( i will move on i will move on...)

oh ya hey hey...anytime u all wanna la kopi...i m just a sms/call away lar...jio me okay. lol...very on one okay.

退后...the lyrics is so....haix...

天空灰的像哭过
离开你以后
并没有更自由
酸酸的空气
守住我们的距离
一幕醉心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息

抽屉泛黄的日记
找到了回忆
那笑容是傻气
你我的过去
被深深真的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
存心的眼泪是多余

我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
全被时间扑了空

我知道我们都没有错
只是放手比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去

year 2 sem 2

27-FEB-07 (TUE)
08:30AM - 10:30AM
IT2604
SOFTWARE ENGINEERING PRACTICES
Seat 106

01-MAR-07 (THU)
08:30AM - 10:00AM
BM0520
INTRODUCTION TO MARKET RESEARCH (WK 19/20)
Seat 103

boxing day

christmas was over~if not wrong today shld be called boxing day ba...

spent christmas night till boxing day afternoon with class peeps, thou in between got feel like nth to do and sleepy...but after all, had fun~ =p and i wonder why i vomit so many times also...juz drank a cup of vodka+sprite... too full or jiu liang nt gd? ahha...

it's always nice to read hand-written cards...feel the warmth, which can't be replaced by sms and emails... looking forward on tmr,thurs, and maybe friday as well... when school reopen, torturing days will start again...hope can get over it...peace peace...

year2007 is coming liao...so fast...suddenly wish the time can stop or don't pass so fast...i will miss alot of things that had happend...

nice to be in class dbi0506 actually.

feel extremely tired....

after her A-level, she should feel happy isn't it? i keep saying i am so envy lor...it's like...freedom days are ahead man...not like me...still struggling... but instead, she don't feel that way, many problems in her mind. one of the main inciddent made her feel this way...

" u treat this person as ur best friend, however, that person might not treat u the same way, she may just treat u as one of her normal friends only."

i got this thought b4 as well, and when she said this, it makes me wonder again...

yes, will they feel the same way like i do? i have not much confidence suddenly.

i admit my temper is not really good.i try to mind my words, but why sometimes they just never know and realise how hurtful their words are? i really wanna shoot back but at that moment i just like lack of words. u shoot me do not means i must do the same ya?

but female is xiao qi, forgive not forget.

recently really wonder what kind of life is this? school is just not that good.

i need a break. haix.

should things better to keep in heart? or pour it out? i really haf no idea already. maybe just don't think about it first.

so many school works nid to do like that...but like nth is done?

some people trying to say some words that made it sound like they are caring, nice and kind. but when things really happen, they might just watch u die, or shoot u behind. sick isnt't it?

blog at SCHOOL lab

house internet down. no online for me don't know till when sia...hmmm...

happy bday for both "piggie" and "da qiu".

had fun yesterday. simply likes food. and nowadays like to observe the design of the cakes. thurs also bought a cake for grandma.

just now watch a show called " final fu" , mtv channel.not bad, got more motivation to learn k.b better.

nowadays got lots injuries thu is just minor ones, from k.b and frisbee training. but had fun too.

wed frisbee tournament...try my best. aim? don't get the bottom 3~ come on man~

sat is going to haf fun~woohoo...eat prata then rollerblade. if got the money think will consider get a pair, coz the rollerblade shoe at ecp is soooo smelly........ also....nowadays like to eat at prata places, eat prata and drink milo dinosaur~~

nice food just make ur day.

aniway. juz wish to haf peace.

enjoyed

had fun this holiday.

thurs treat my family jack's place, coz quite satisfied with my income this month =). will never order set meal from there, not that nice...but the appetizer not bad,and ice/cream etc... then get the member card and borrow some books from library again.

at night go explore chinatown and little india with winnie. can't find my smelly tofu still, and we enjoyed fooling ard at little india...but one irritating thing is that the bangalas like keep looking at you,wonder what's their problem...

yesterday,hmpt my 'aunt' made me so pain, but plan to go cycling le...so don't wanna spoilt the plan, then i just went ahead. after eat the pills from kat. guess not so pain liao. then cycle 2 hr just for $6 bucks,quite satisfied. the skating beginner' corner is quite interesting, u will see some pros there, and pple falling down of coz...ahha...then saw quan yi feng again...plus 2 superhosts. then at night went for art lesson. tiring day...

sun either go skating or go vivo city,last day b4 school reopen...hmmm so fast...don't want...

monday need wear fully black for k.b...reminded me that my oni nice black pant was lost...haix.

bye sept

last day of september,last day work at ramen ten as well. oct will be a new month, and the starting of a new job.

shall not think too much. when u work u wanna quit,when u going to quit u wanna stay. how ironic life is.

been busy.

seldom wake up as early as today sia. and i think i don't like water color, wonder what i were drawing yesterday.

sometimes when i say sorry,doesn't mean that i agree that was my fault, maybe i simple just want to make the atmosphere better. get it.

nice songs make ur day.

that's all.

summary

tues to wed class chalet. had fun.
-->sw,lq,me,shir,py,eve,chris,ray,jk,steven,jx,xp,hd,yc

wed slp till 6pm sth, went for tuition, then mos.
-->you don't drink so much leh...

thurs went fortunate restaurant@ toapayoh. had dim sums for xia wu cha...nice!
-->family family family!

fri today water painting for lesson.

nervous to view result...arhhh...coz feel that did not do well...hmpt nvm...wat's done is done.

will join kick boxing when school reopen with anna. whee.

miss...

yesterday stay with winnie and ning till 2am plus...chit chat and play...funny and nice haha =) then first time take the NR1 realise it got alight at amk and bishan...not bad eh...

then ting hui is in singapore...woohoo...she finish her A and she got into cambridge uni! that's so great. what make me more envy is that she got to travel to italy,scotland and some places~ like so wonderful! italy...a place that i wanted to go...feel that she's quite enjoying life...i think live in western country is free and nice...abit motivated to work harder for my goal~!

had lunch with her and king at aji tei, my favourite unagi and sashimi bento...yum yum but not that full...but i was late again...and we all need to leave early like ard 2 plus to 3 sth, coz king need study for her maths exam tmr, me nid go for tuition and th meet her sis...hopefully tmr will see her again.

was like at least 1 year or more then can see her once, maybe i dun talk as much as b4, but inside my heart, i am really really happy...haix why always like that one, those people that i like and want to meet, must wait at least a year then can meet once....it's really really really a torture to me.....haix....feel very empty when everytime apart with them,both my family and friends.

=)

however in our life, some pple we might not want to see them, but we need to see them very often. isn't it a torture as well. opps.

then...eh late for tuition, late for ramen ten. like a chain...late for one thing...then resulted late for everything.

haixxxx....................

sometimes i really wonder...if other people were in my shoe, can they be real happy?

messy background.
messy status
unknown future like u can't even know where u will settle down.
messy home.

messy until u dun even wanna go clear ur mind to think about it. there' ll nv be an answer for it.

well but at least, i survived?

finish poly maybe the condition will be better, sometimes really hope time can pass abit faster.

yea i know i keep complaining abt it no use at all. so okay mum, i choose to live strong no matter what.

pple only see my smile, do they really understant what's behind a smile?

all i ask for is a simple and happy home. i don't wanna blame u anything already cause i know it will only hurt you. i know u live not easy as well. let's work hard together even we are physically apart.

okay enough of emo shit.

so envy sia anna got to meet westlife in person! that is like a dream comes true man!! she got to tok to them and get their signature omg~ makes me so regret that time nv go for bsb concert...at least can breath under the same place........so wanna blame myself! haix..coz sometimes when u miss a chance, u won't know when it will come again...maybe never.

she is so high now that wanna meet up. maybe later? really xian mu lehx...if i got to see bsb in real life i tink i also dun wanna slp already................................................

tmr should be a nice day too. that's all.

short updates

working is quite okay.
saw kwon sang woo at imm...crowed like mad...he is so charming!!
did some shoping...buy quite a number of things...and googles of couse...shld try do more sports during holiday.

swimming tmr...eh no i mean later...today...

that day had a big quarrel with mum...shout to the phone till like all the passer-by look at me? who cares, can't control. but luckily,now okay liao.

had a over night chatting time too...whee know some new stuff again.

liling reset her tamagotchi again and she was surprised that mine now is 3rd generation liao...eh but really so hard to feed meh? -_-??



recently open a chinese blog at wretch...quite a simple and nice website...so abit lazy to update here liao.

Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous

nice!

ramen ten

put my emo shit aside first. now is not the time to think so much.

hmmm stress up when teach harrison maths...a pri5 boy who don't understand how to calculate 1.5 X 1000...really stress...how to find a best way? wondering...

okay.erm last saturday after watching the france firework go kbox with rt peeps. the one sing to nx day morning 6am one. with winnie,liling,ning,mel,jw,derrick,fly,terrence and tommy.

skip the detail. they gave me this ice cream cake. i love cake! and sa bo around lolx...touched really...but paiseh also...but maybe bcoz it's nt the exact day liao so feeling abit weird haha...but thx.

this time don't feel sleepy throughout the whole session until everything's end.whee...

realise actually many gals like to play tamagotchi still...some boys too...get one lehx...play with ur fren u will see something interesting...lolx.

=)

my drawings =)

the italy firework...but this time my view kana blocked...so this is my best shot already...

kinda like my this semi-formal =) tues morning take pay. then finished the ecpj presentation.

watched lake house at PS... the ending is super nice...touched...

then meet lq they all...very on sia haha...thx for spending the first min with me. touched =) loves it.

sand house made by srjc?

sweet secret's tiramisu...not bad...but marianne seems doesn't like it?

and thx for spending the last min with me =)

when ji asked what is my wish...abit sad for the moment...coz the wish will be family reunion soon...i am waiting for the day...haix.. and dat's why i don't like to talk much about my past background. just know the present me is enough i guess...i don't want to think too much...

TO MY FRIENDS:

thanks for all the wishes...made my day...how i wish i can bump into u all everyday haha...but ya impossible...but thx...a sms will do...we missed each other for that moment at least.

the bag is nice and my tamagotchi 1st generation is named " kiki"...what a act cute name haha...

and finally i think i realise sth...i appears to be cheerful but i think indeed...i am not so...so it's like kinda not match? so that's why feel weird? i don't know.

too emotional hurts.

=|

don't blame anyone.
now the problem is ...i think i can't stand myself man. i don't like the present me! especially when looking back...the " present" one is like so don't know how to say...no way...wake up wake up...see and think things in a more simple way please. hold on!

back back back. come back!





i very mean one...if it's impossible...i rather he is a gay. at least...won't be that sad...hmmmm....crap.

okay maybe this sounds abit siao siao to some pple...but since my house is not far from school...plus i wanna jian fei...i am tinking if i should buy a bicycle...and of coz..if i buy...i won't cicycle to school everyday...lolx...i have been thinking this for long liao...but to take in action...courage and money is needed...hmm...holiday see how...also, cycle to some place near also not bad? but...another thing...where to park it...

the old times...

projects going to the end...finally...phew...projects are quite torturing...not only the content u have to do itself...also the pple u work with...but nvm...it's over now...but exam is coming...hmmm

always reluctant to go nafa punctually...always like late for lesson but manage to finish the drawing of the day...hmm...slowly find back some confidence in drawing... =)

now got one more tuition kid..p5 boy chinese and maths...name harrison,my aunt's colleague's son...come from a broken family...so charge her at a quite low price...but now i found the joy of teaching...i hope i won't waste my student's parent's money...i really hope i can help them improve. that's my responsibility... jia you jia you... but this boy quite naugty sia...first day joke with me liao...somemore talk with his mum like nearly an hour for my first lesson...i wanna vomit blood liao coz i didn't expect boys are so hard to teach..prefer gals sia...but then today...grandma told me this boy told his mum that he likes me...haha...okay...since he likes me...okay i shall not give up so easilly even though i feel dat he is so naughty haha~

also...after a very long time...browse thru some frenster...saw some old photos...bring back some memories...haix...those were the days...miss it...but life got to move on...

the dark period is over...i feel that i m being abit harsh and bad temper during those dark days...why school must torture students in this way? haix...now it's gonna over~~~ i am back...back to the normal me hopefully... yea!

lastly.i wanna say that. please don't misinterprete my words. if u know me, u should also know that i am not that type of person who like to say those words which are suan and hurtful...cause i myself also don't like it...i will control my grip...but if some bad words really come out from my mouth, then i guess i have reach my limits.

exam timetable

Examination Timetable - Academic Year 2006/2007 Semester 1

24-AUG-06 (THU)
12:30PM - 02:30PM
IT2602
ELECTRONIC COMMERCE
G.221 (Z2) 103

25-AUG-06 (FRI)
08:30AM - 10:30AM
IT2505
IP TECHNOLOGY AND NETWORKING
G.221 (Z2)
109

28-AUG-06 (MON)
12:30PM - 02:30PM
IT2601
DATABASE MANAGEMENT SYSTEMS
G.221 (Z1)
399

29-AUG-06 (TUE)
08:30AM - 10:30AM
BM0518
BUSINESS ENVIRONMENT (WK 19/20)
G.221 (Z3)
102

30-AUG-06 (WED)
12:30PM - 02:00PM
BM0519
PRINCIPLES OF FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT (WK 19/20)
G.221 (Z1)
104

Legend for Venue :
G.221 (Z1)
Sports Hall (Zone 1)
Block G, Level 2 [Sports Hall (Z1)]

G.221 (Z2)
Sports Hall (Zone 2)
Block G, Level 2 [Sports Hall (Z2)]

G.221 (Z3)
Sports Hall (Zone 3)
Block G, Level 2 [Sports Hall (Z3)]

reflection.

must keep myself on the right track. somehow sometimes feels that i've behave unlike the usual me. like...throwing some attitude? not sure...just feel not that right.

sometimes only realise i've talking non-sense after my words have spoken out...hmm...what to do? feel paiseh and keep quiet maybe.

and if u feel that i've say some weird words to u? before trying to blame me, please check urself first.

pple got emotions...pple are easily being irritated. nowadays...for me,i think, if u feel that u're being irritated, try to ignore, turn away, keep quiet. and forget it. best for both parties. when u feel unhappy, u got to adjust it urself. find ur own way to be happy.

don't let all the projects studies occupied all ur times, spare some time for urself ,do something u like, and spend some time to do some meaningful events.

u shld not feel sad easily,even u feel so, u shld get rid of this feeling as soon as possible to move on. think about it, u got a healthy body, u got pple who love u, u got food,u can listen to so many types of music, u can join activities,u can buy the things u want...think about those pple who live in the 3rd country...u don't have the right to complaint that life is sux.


extras:
i think teaching is a nice job...but then feel paiseh when can't solve the question. the student not bad too...quite nice to chat with. and this is one conversation i find it kinda...eh...interesting?
she:"teacher, ur horoscope izit libra?"
me:"ehh no...why?"
she:"nah...i thought u libra...cause i got many frens who are libra and they are short."
me:"lolx izit, for me i think libra usually good looking."
she agree:" yea i also think so...so i though u are libra. then wat horoscope are u?"
me:" leo, how u find it then? i don't really like it coz i think it's abit fierce...coz lion mahx."
she:" har u leo arh? i thought usually leo is quite serious one."

conclusion. she think libra pple is short and good looking and leo pple is serious.
but she don't find me serious...coz i keep joke with her and chit chat maybe.
and she is libra as well.
haha...

tired...

keke yishun fire station is nice...bcos of some pple... =)
tmr 10am tuition...swimming at night.
tues financial test.
24th jul hand in biz environment.

italy wins

Italy is the champion of 2006 fifa world cup Germany. yeah!

around 4am something like suddenly woke up and catch the last part of the match.pple only rmb the winner...so what if get the 2nd? French cried...

forget since when i support italy already...like some years already...first attracted by totti if not wrong. wonder why world cup will make us feel so high and low sometimes...haha...

now it comes to and end.somehow abit not used to it...used to spend some night to watch it.hmmm...and some players...might not able to see them again...and for zidane...even more sad that he ended with a red card...

abit unfair during the matches...well but maybe life is like that...an unfair world?

but after all...still happy that italy wins. makes this monday a good day somehow.

random

ysd shop with anna...got my puma italia jacket and wristband. i like them. but this month can't anyhow spend already. but anna still can't find her bag yet.hmm...

there's too much to catch up. feel mess up again.haix.

take notes:
-wed voice out
-thurs tuition
-fri nafa
-sat maybe ecp
-tcpip test next week
-next week check ecpj
-17th bic com proj
-24th biz environment proj
-----------------------------------------
don't know why sometimes feel sad when looking at grandma. she's like in the house everyday. because of her legs so she didn't even go downstairs to have a tea or something. i never tell her how i feel at all, i just don't know how to show my care. haix... i know i should spend some hours with her...at least have a small breakfast downstair...

mum dad grandmas grandpa i miss u...

friends... i don't know how to express that actually i did enjoy spending time with u. for those who i did not see for some time, i never show actually i did miss u all and hope that if u free to have a chat or go out sth...find me anytime.

maybe i don't talk as much sometimes, maybe i think this is a better way to keep myself from getting hurt, by talk lesser. even if i keep quiet.i do care. and when u talk to me, i am willing to listen and response.

and we need to know when is the time to stop the jokes.

still waiting for the true freedom...

fifa world cup

there are more behind a soccer match.

watch both GER vs ARG and ENG vs POR match...penalty to decide who make it to the semi-final... penalty...like so depends on luck...the winner side : overjoyed. the other side: sad...cry. how cruel...but no choice.in a game,there's winner and loser...

can feel the stress when watching a live soccer match...don't know since when so nervous and abit stressful when watching soccer...too unpredictable. a soccer match is not just simply a match...

italy gonna vs germany...hmmm i guess Germany will make it to final but of coz hope will be italy...hope they got the luck...totti goal! wanna see the final which is

--------------------------------------------------------------

too bad the nafa class got no shuai ge...no i shld say it's all za bo haha...lolx which is good also...can be more concentrate.

u know he is not what u want...u know the feeling for him is not that type...is just simply like as a friend...u somehow feel abit happy when see him...but sometimes u just get irritated when talk to him...he is not yours but somehow u don't want other gals to get close to him...but after all...u just like him as a friend.keep a distance...maybe is better. maybe sometimes, you just don't have to know him too well...

being late is no good

tonight watch a taiwan show called " tao se dan bai zhi"... hmm the theme is abit sensitive to me...but i am interested...is about being late...my bad habit...

yea being punctual acutally is quite important...if one always being late...he/she may lost the trust from his/her friends...

oh no...no one likes to wait...and no one likes the people who being late...it reflects a person's sense of responsibility and others...

hmmm...guitly to be late but got this bad habit...oh no...to become a more responsible person...i shall not be late!!! arhhh...

monday blues

today is really monday blues. serious.

like so long didn't have this feeling already. i am panic because of ica marks?! biz com...no jokes...no exam...didn't do well then no chances already...arhh...if u want to furthur ur study...every sem's gpa is counted for poly...really panic...worried...still like so slacking...anxious.

and miss the holiday also...wonder when can see them...guess not so soon...hmmm

heart is dead over some things...haix.

blues...really blues.

hmmmmmmmmmm

sometimes i have choice. but i realise...sometimes...i just don't have the choice.
mum and i got this decision. no matter what i need to work here for at least 2 years due to the contract with school...so no choice. work b4 continue my further study. i accept it. and i work for it. i will not give up the hope to go aus. i got no choice anyway.

finally told mum that i m giving tuition. she just accepted it naturally...haha so now no more secrets. she's still as open minded.glad. she's the best.

also...told her some of my feelings...about the dark side i saw in the society. she said maybe we need to accept and adapt it. 适者生存. and some pple just like to be bossy around.i asked:" so must i also have to become this kind of people then can live?" can't rmb what she answered,but if i have to become like that, i will never like myself. think about it.so sick.

altough i've been working there for like 1 and a half year. but i am glad that i nv talk to them with a bossy tone and order pple here and there...pple got eyes,pple can see...and i won't pick on them after the mistakes have been made. especially when it's just careless mistake.for what sia~add more fuss izit?sometimes i wonder if this is good? coz if u don't bossy ard...in other words...means pple will bossy u ard.

OPEN UR EYES. SEE CLEARLY B4 U SCOLD.

i won't chit chat when is busy...or maybe i wiping things during chit chat...can u see?if i see sth haven't been clear up...u tink i will act like didn't see? so if i didn't see it...and i see another customer standing outside need my help, u scold for what? now so many "supervisors" in rt sia...everyone like to order pple...like to bossy ard. well...i try not to bother already but don't cross the line. to protect urself,okay,so work is work,don't ever joke.

maybe u've changed. but i won't deny if i've changed. things happened to me recently force me to have some diff views. kind of lost also.but what to do. haix...

sometimes, somethings i guess i still have the choice...but now school reopen again...i don't have the time to look ard yet.once i found. then i guess i will say bye to the place. ya... bu she de, but i know is not the same anymore.the joy is gone.

there's no right or wrong. coz pple usually think themselves are the right one. maybe it apply to myself as well.so no pt to argue.

cut hair with anna later.

shockest moment of my life

all these happen too sudden...just like a dream...or nightmare? long and shocking day.

friday. had some shopping and saw JJ lim at heeren...quite happy...then explore some places in orchard...watch the movie "she's the man"...quite enjoyable. soccer...italy and brazil jiayou~


the night is always attractive yet dangerous...

accidentally...or should say only me is the last to know that we've inside orchard tower...a scary place...shiver...

skip those. here comes the main part. we met car accident...the shockest moment in my life.

2 taxi and 1 car bang together and we were inside one of the taxi...i scream.things comes so sudden that we don't even know what had happened...just knew that all the taxis and cars are disfigure and i MUST THANK GOD THAT WE ONLY HAD MINOR INJURIES...omg i can't imaging that we'll be the victims of the car accident...that's scary! policemen all those came right after that... coz heard that there were some fighting nearby so they already there...i only feel giddy at the moment and meh appears to be calm.but winnie said her head is pain...so she follow the ambulance and we take cab(no choice...impossible to walk there) to find her at general hospital...coz the ambulance not enuff space to let us in. she had her check up there and need to stay there for some hours...so when things seems to be settle down...me and meh went home first...all of us are too tired...when reached home...it's about 7am, saturday... what a long and sleepless night.horrible...

now i feel some pain...not sure but hope it's minor case...i can't believe that all this happen one by one...realise i didn't have a good health these days...fall down badly...flu and now car accident...what happen man...and i can't let mum know anything about it...omg GOD BLESS ME PLEASE! life is really unpredictable...health is really IMPORTANT!

don't know if i've cool down or not...but maybe will have a little phobia of taking cab and i should think about it...i think should not go home too late? i am abit frighten already...grandma said i always frightens her also...made her worry about my safty...i should think about it...

things are too sudden and i think i still need time to cool down...omg now i still feel blur blur...like still in a dream...coz everythings just too sudden...

and got my nafa student card...the card very thick...and the course starts on 30th june...need to manage my time for study work and this course...i feel so messy at the moment.hmm.

watch garfield next week...still haven't got a watch...hope can find a nice white or blue watch.white is always nice and comfortable for me.except white hair. arh i can't believe that the accident happened in the morning and i go to work at night...i want stay at home and rest...today's working like a shit for me...totally in an insecure state coz i am shivering still...and giddy...shit..tmr no replacement too...arh...

packed

today the agency called me again and gave me a student. live in toapayoh...a place that i feel comfortable...and is p6 maths...so i take it. though...pay is abit lower. so total teach two student for maths...i am gonna tell myself " i like maths" to motivate myself. must like the subject you teach then able to teach others well right? haha...okay but maths is one of my fav anyway... give both of them 2 lessons per week...need manage time well... tmr will be the first day for the p6 one...hope will be smooth...

really hope to see my student improve...i feel the responsibility...maybe that's why i feel stress somehow...the stress maybe is given by myself...still not confident enough but i am trying my best... try to find back the old maths books but i realise maybe i've thrown them...hmmm...

now caught in flu as well...weird weather...now shld be hot isn't it?why so cold instead hmmm...

next week packed...tuesday to sunday all planned...awww...and Garfield2 will be out next week...but i think can only watch it week after next... also guess put real less schedule for ramenten bahx.. oh ya i think i saw kero,the ahem colinandkero blog that one...he came ramenten eat...he is our customer too lolx...they all said he looks really gay...but if the one we saw is really kero...i will doubt if he is really gay...work at rt will see different type of pple and customer...so...stay? lolx...

also projects are:
finance
biz com
biz environment
ecpj

and pray that i can go to business side...for the elective.

------------------------------------------------------
last friday saw king...pouring out some fan naos...and motivate each others to move on...no choice...that's life...but wonder how come everytime can't buy things at bugis...orchard is better for me...

thurs met mehx...after some time...shop around at orchard...then go her fren house...a very big house...and there are 3 things really impress me...the 2 dogs,named ringo and shirley haha...big dogs, cute and nice to play with also =) then...his scv...got ALL the channels~i mean ALL sia...wow...lastly...there is a drumset in his toilet...ahha...too bad nx day financail tut at 8am...otherwise...i may follow them go MOS le...

friday not a bad day as well...quite happy for the finance test mark...then at night...yea saw that kero i think so? but i wanna see colin instead...hehe...then after closing...yea...after some time since we last kbox le? go cine kbox...frm 12 till the nx morning 6am sth? first time sia...but all tired i guess...sing sleep sing sleep like that...but happy to go kbox again with them...ramen ten peeps...

then sleep for few hours...went for tution today...back...and sleep for awhile...but still lacking of sleep... last min study make me lack of sleep...play too hard also make me lack of sleep...lolx but i have no complains...

few years didn't wear watch already...now plan to get one...like swatch...colourful and funky...aiming for white or blue color one...save up?

still never tell any of them about the tuition thing...just now wanna tell grandma but i still choose to keep it to myself...hmmm...but when she ask where am i going tmr...i don't know how to answer...

no title

today is a rushing day for me.rush to bank...then rush to school pay school fee cos today due liaox...then i missed my busstop AGAIN...then rush to ramen ten...then rush eating and put up all the working stuff...maybe tooooo rush liaox...till i vomit in the end lolx...plus that thing first day ahem...in the end i 8 plus punch out..suppose to end at 9pm...and this month i target to work for 40hrs...but now i think i short by 10 mins like that? well....speechless...

then i really realise how important health is. without a good health...hard to do things well...don't have that energy...hmm....feel abit weak...all the injuries havent fully recover...which also means energy level still low...a swollen face makes me so down already...let alone an obvious scar...arh...this still keep hurting me...because i still wonder if mum is fully recover mentally...i scare that from outside she acts ok...but behind...and even though like that...she still must go to work...and yet she still keep asking me to work lesser or if feel not happy...can just don't work...she rather me learn more stuff than work...she rather give me more money if i not enough to spend...and i think she scare i can't take the pressure from giving tution...she quite insist to stop me from doing that...yet i still try it...but...i really wish to have a try...and i got the interest to teach maths and chinese...sorry mum... but then again... MUM IS REALLY GREAT...THEY CAN DO ANYTHING FOR THEIR CHILD...they rather work harder to let their child enjoy more...really wish that in the future...i am able to let her have an enjoyable life.work for it!

hmmm maybe i've change without knowing it...and maybe is not a good one...but is okay...gonna be fine...make it simpler.believe in it.

hmm about ramen ten...think the business is getting better and better...expand liaox...heard got a big outlet at causeway pt and a small one which named shin tokyo at parkway...also they hire lots new staffs...also base on what i feel today...now even amk become more strict liaox...today i anyhow wear the red polo also kana say liaox...alert...no more the old ramen ten liaox...now stronger power le...but weird feeling again...sumhow...still struggling...coz i realise that i like to interact with the customers...hmmm dat's one thing keeps me still working there...i like that...also plus got gan qing there...but some reasons make me really wanna stop working there...also...some friendly faces gone liaox...don't know...i think keep quiet during work is a beta way...later u joke or talk too much kana warn again...also if u give little schedule...they will ask you if u are so busy or say u got time to play no time work? well...that's my freedom right?

and...full timer...yea i know means more responsibility...but remember...don't lose yourself.

nervous...saturday my first time giving tuition...then nx week...3 tests.

painful sia

abt yesterday.
fri no school so planned to go ecp cycling+blading then eat the cake at awfullychocolate.
cycled for 2 hours.and it's quite cheap.$4 for 2 hours. cut it short. while steven and elaine reached ecp...we went to katong mall ate the cake i've kept thinking of..the awfullychocolate cake.cos stella always bring this cake while she's on the taiwan shows.it looks nice. and when i realise sg also have this shop...so eager to eat it...but...not as that super nice as expected bah...

when back to ecp again.decide to take blade.and it's ex lor $6 like for 1hr sth like that only...even worse...i only like blade for half...coz when bladed downslope i fall badly...i kiss the road lor...nearly cried.very pain...thought bend forward will be more steady~~! now still quite painful...bruises all over body...worst thing is my left side the face now is like a pig face...super swollen...arh...so this weekend bobian stay at home rest... as i said...face is a sensitive issue now...coz my mum's face and datz why...the first thing i said when reached home is "don't tell mum". on the way some bad things happen too like sth wrong with the bike and forget to get back elaine's ezlink...

a long and tiring day...nt that bad...will be better if those incidents didn't happen. for me. conclusion is...will not blade again soon till there is a pro with me. hmmm last time used to have one...kept changing my mind for the tuition things...some is lack of confidence and some is don't want to cheat.hmmm.. indecisive person.

now...energy power is still low...zhou wei dou shi shan...guess is the most serious accident for me so far.hmmm not a good feeling.eyes pain also.time to rest again.hmm

life got to move on...one can't be pessimistic all the time... so ya... believe gonna be fine.

what can really cheers ur granny up? is to spend more time with them...well today reached home kinda early...5pm sth...it's like...don't know after how long didn't reached home so early already...can see that she felt quite happy...can see...then have dinner together at a normal dinner time...like after so long...realise actually sometimes it's not hard to make someone happy...just that u got to spend more time with them...and care for them. mum i will be strong.so do u. never give up ya.

today nearly can have my first student...a p1 korean kid!!! arh...at first so happy to hear dat lor...korean wor...but too bad...she said they want the tutor at least 25 years old.then got one...at boon keng...i think that's abit too far for me so reject...but anyway...hope they will call me back soon~

hollow

so i m wrong...grandma still angry with me...and i never give in...i never apologize...what a cold-blooded idiot i am...slap me. i feel so insecure when i know mum is injured but i don't know how serious the injury is...this feeling keep making me feel scared...anytime...anywhere...when think about it...my heart feel so cold. i thought i can't joke ard but i did today...but i m just a piece of hollow shit now...hollow soul or watever.

i really envy you..."you" who have ur family to be with u happily.

a piece of messy shit. how to pick myself up?

bless her

tell me what to do...what to do...what to do...but what can i do? haven't tell granny yet...i don't want to see her reaction...don't want her to be panic...what can i do except praying now? what can i do...

i know i am talking rubbish but why let this happen to my mum...why why...i beg u give her good health can? her health is already bad enuff now why this kind of incident happen again?how pain...!!! blood omg...if is not very serious she won't cry when told me this...that's why i feel extra super worried coz i m not there...i can't even know how is her injury now and it's head! it's the important part of your body...i hope there are no scars on her head...i know she worried too...there is no one there to take care of her and what can i do now? i can do nth...GOD...please help me this time...i promise i will pray everyday...just please help me look after mummy k plase? bless her get well soon and no scar...a face is impt for a lady...please i beg u i beg u i beg u...

i can't anyhow waste money already...i need to lesser her burden...arh...please guide me what to do my mind is completely blank and i don't know how to face everyone now...wonder if can be happy again till she fully recovery...please bless her she is all alone...help me help me i really don't noe what to do i promise i will pray with all my heart please bless her...i don't know what to do...help me!! mum how i wish i can fly to u there now...i m so worried...gif her the power to be strong please i beg u...what can i do...why why why.

i am scared...truely...