fren ask me...nx time dun be so silly already...don put in all the trust and emotions into a relationship, coz in the end.. will only hurt badly. but i was like answer, this kind of feeling...how to control rite? u can't control the level of love you put into dat person...and for me, once in a relationship, i juz can't control, and will put 100percent of love,trust and care for that one. but yes, in the end, hurt badly, again and again.but i reallllllly love him....and i realli think he is good, but they ask me...he might nt as good as what u think..don't just keep thinking about the good pts of him...it will onli hurts more. but, i can't think of ani bad pts of him nw, the most hurtful things is the things he did to me now, and i really don't undertand.

when will guys wanna settle down, why they still wanna play, why they just let go like that?
but for now,i still pretending, till exam ends. i think the result won't be much diff, but i realli still wanna try, even though i know i m gonna get hurt again.

why love betrays me when i trust it so much? my world has broke down...help me...

人群里面那个我把幸福遗落那曾经走过的路口我停了你却走我想捂住我的耳朵听不见你说爱就在此刻松手分手放手我猜不透不猜透和你背对背的走原来怪我没有没有爱情的天分你才要走我想要学会自我催眠痛觉会少一些潜意识作祟想着想到失眠我躺在没有你的房间寂寞更加明显我渐渐的自我催眠却回不到从前等着红灯那个我还会向前走也许那幸福的执着在下一个路口专属铃声我还留着却静静沉默在我们之间爱了放了散了我会不说不想说怕说了也没有用现在我的幽默只是掩饰着心痛我的难过聪明再多一些我走在没有你的世界却走不到永远慢慢闭上双眼

exam timetable

12-FEB-08 (TUE)
12:30PM - 02:00PM
BM0516
GLOBAL SUPPLY CHAIN MANAGEMENT (WK 18)
grp ZB
E.308
seat 19

13-FEB-08 (WED)
12:30PM - 02:30PM
IT3503
INTERNET SYSTEM SECURITY& ADMINISTRATION
grp 03
G.221 (Z3)
seat 141


Also, uni admission period. online application period- feb.
oversea uni preparation. (nz,ca)

zzz shld be doing proj but i m writing blog now?

is this sem's proj too hard...or is i slack?

not as much confident as b4 in this sem, but no matter what, must get them done, can't afford to fail...no way man.

fri to nx monday will be working at centrepoint 7-11...hmmm

and 2008 is coming...nt much hard feeling but somehow, still looking forward ya? after all, it's so called a new start...

i think it's still somehow not easy for me to open up and express myself the way i wish to? maybe coz...my family's nt with me for so long? few years then see cousins once?so like nt realli good at communicate and build relationship with people...maybe coz of the lack of family bonding that makes me lack of the feeling of secure and so eager to find a shell to hide inside?sigh. really. kinda envy people that have siblings and have family outing.

enough of emo-ing. work hard...for the future. though still...fates decides.

updates

internet marketing:
ica2 individual project - 18th jan 2008
ica2 project - week 17( feb?)


global supply chain:
ica project due - 7th jan or 11th

entre:
ica 1 part c - 14th jan
ica3 indi test - 21st jan
entre day - week 16

internet security:
ica 2 chapter4,6,7,8 - week13or 14
case study 10%

java:
practical after term break
assignment,written test

not forgotten...
EAIPJ
update the blog also.

omg.good luck.



baby gave me a bracelet from mintmark& co for xmas, cute...love it...and the red box with the snow flake is nice...

but...as long as i have you...enough le...

tuesday

still raining now...when will it stop so i can go cut hair with anna later...zzzzz...make a post b4 i off to bathe...uh huh...

9sept to 8oct will be away from Singapore...hope can enjoy myself and...forget all the unhappy stuff for some time...

sometimes feel like isolated my self from the world really...also don't know why...sometimes i am thinking...sometimes m i treating somethings too seriously? and what drift people apart?

i think i shall keep reminding myself... back to the old me...so to make things simpler and make self feel happier...

for now..abit like free from the feelings for ahem ahem ahem ahem le bah...now what worries me most is my future? hais...upon graduation...then this keep troubling me...mum kinda keen wanna me to work at least for a year first...to get a PR first bah...got a hou lu sth like dat...but of coz deep inside my heart...i wanna furthur study...we can't deny that...it's nt easy to pick up study again when u don't keep in touch with it for a long time...like rusty? i hope i got the determination to pursue what i want to do...a diploma is really nt enuff nowadays ba...and i really wanna school life to cont...haix...but money pressure, mother's side...reality everything...i guess i don't have a choice right now...

MONEY...haiss....can't deny...sometimes i m thinking...if we don't have to worry abt the financial side...things will be so much more easier...

working life...honestly...i tinking i m nt ready yet..and also...i m kinda afraid of it?

simple life is nt so easy after all...sigh...

the past few weeks...

firstly...last friday watched "bu neng shuo de mi mi" with cindy, lala,fatt and koufu...GOT FEEL ARHHH...sweet and touching...omg...keep hui mei~

this pic was taken after the "LAN GAME" outing...memorable...after lan went to esplenade area to ton awhile...miss...

Again...National Day...but don't know since when...i don't really like my bday is on this day le...lazy to say the reasons le...but...still...thanks for all the surprises~BI 0506 peeps, Eldc&Bsu Peeps, Ex srjc Ld Peeps, and keke and ning...really appreciate it...

but then i am thinking...when can i celebrate with my family? haix...

Last friday is Eldc Last day...haix...honestly felt like is my last day as well, really used to the life with them...bu she de...really wanna hug them...haix..next week when i walk pass eldc room, there is no one for me to smile at le? miss the lab that filled with them...arhhh!! also, i know that,haix...there's sure nt the same anymore...distance do matters really...hope still can have outing...esp the nite cycling~~hmmm

and next week, will be my last week at bsu,tep le...even harder to see them le...hmmmmm....

really enuff of the feeling of comes and goes le...it really hurts...

haix...and even the road of study is so complicated,without money and things, u can't even choose the place u wanna study and the things u wanna do...hao fan arh...i can't see the future? very mess up...who knows maybe i need to work first then can cont study? haix...who knows...

he will be my secret. hidden.

ysd watch "die hard4" with ElDC peeps....erm...nt really like action movie but...tink the movie okay ba...fell asleep for a very short while coz too tired...but enjoyed being with them...hope there are more outings...

thought i can't deny that, distance really matters, and somehow...haix...i no longer in eldc, but, just hope things won't change much...can things stay in its way?

tonite...wow...rejoined TKD again...bring back my childhood memories! miss tkd...it's like donkey years ago...lolx...but abit paiseh sia coz there are lots lots of kids, but surprising anna prefers this atmosphere than kick boxing in nyp, she said don't really like the people there, rather be with the kids...okay some kids are kinda cute? erm...and the gal who taught us today...um...handsome gal? hmmm hmmm....ANNA don't ps arh...i will motivate u to go for lesson...tkd is nice.

lastly,realise that i can't talk normally and be myself when infront of some people...then i start to think...maybe i shall just don't take it too hard, since i can't even be comfortable with them, my converstaion with them...erm...i guess is kinda casually as well, as in...hi, tok some crap, then ...bye?

kinda sad, but , rather than i act shou rite. i rather don't talk much, if there is no such need, i don't wanna be fake. no point forcing myself anymore? let it go.

lol what am i talking?

and i m very confused...really...but i know it's impossible, i don't wanna get hurt, so...it's safter to keep it to heart.

the past months

long time no blog... lolx.1 of the small reasons is that, very lazy to create google mail...when u r lazy, u can be very lazy.......

too many things had happened...abit lazy to type also...

my attachment at IBM 's gonna end this friday, as well as My Nafa Arts...when things come to the end, then you will cherish the time that left...haix...abit bu she de...For IBM, abit used to the long journey already...and the environment...marketing is actually not bad as in can go for events...eat nice food ...haha....and of course...the people here...miss...For art...it's like already a year, and the teacher is kinda friendly as well...haix...why must thing has an end.

(ps.jacky is not frm my department...hahaha)

Besides...really dun really want Tep leh...none of the class gals with me also...then i don't want waste time play game all those in school...no life? but since it's coming...just hope that it's better than what i think ba...

then currently taking up the hair dressing course...still cont to find cake or cooking course bah...plan for my future housewife style...lolx...

lastly...hmmm....it's already like 2 months plus liao...and i seem to be okay? but when his name or photo or if i heard anything about him...my heart still beats...so it still affects me i guess? haix...

( i will move on i will move on...)

oh ya hey hey...anytime u all wanna la kopi...i m just a sms/call away lar...jio me okay. lol...very on one okay.

退后...the lyrics is so....haix...

天空灰的像哭过
离开你以后
并没有更自由
酸酸的空气
守住我们的距离
一幕醉心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息

抽屉泛黄的日记
找到了回忆
那笑容是傻气
你我的过去
被深深真的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
存心的眼泪是多余

我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
全被时间扑了空

我知道我们都没有错
只是放手比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去

year 2 sem 2

27-FEB-07 (TUE)
08:30AM - 10:30AM
IT2604
SOFTWARE ENGINEERING PRACTICES
Seat 106

01-MAR-07 (THU)
08:30AM - 10:00AM
BM0520
INTRODUCTION TO MARKET RESEARCH (WK 19/20)
Seat 103

boxing day

christmas was over~if not wrong today shld be called boxing day ba...

spent christmas night till boxing day afternoon with class peeps, thou in between got feel like nth to do and sleepy...but after all, had fun~ =p and i wonder why i vomit so many times also...juz drank a cup of vodka+sprite... too full or jiu liang nt gd? ahha...

it's always nice to read hand-written cards...feel the warmth, which can't be replaced by sms and emails... looking forward on tmr,thurs, and maybe friday as well... when school reopen, torturing days will start again...hope can get over it...peace peace...

year2007 is coming liao...so fast...suddenly wish the time can stop or don't pass so fast...i will miss alot of things that had happend...

nice to be in class dbi0506 actually.

feel extremely tired....

after her A-level, she should feel happy isn't it? i keep saying i am so envy lor...it's like...freedom days are ahead man...not like me...still struggling... but instead, she don't feel that way, many problems in her mind. one of the main inciddent made her feel this way...

" u treat this person as ur best friend, however, that person might not treat u the same way, she may just treat u as one of her normal friends only."

i got this thought b4 as well, and when she said this, it makes me wonder again...

yes, will they feel the same way like i do? i have not much confidence suddenly.

i admit my temper is not really good.i try to mind my words, but why sometimes they just never know and realise how hurtful their words are? i really wanna shoot back but at that moment i just like lack of words. u shoot me do not means i must do the same ya?

but female is xiao qi, forgive not forget.

recently really wonder what kind of life is this? school is just not that good.

i need a break. haix.

should things better to keep in heart? or pour it out? i really haf no idea already. maybe just don't think about it first.

so many school works nid to do like that...but like nth is done?

some people trying to say some words that made it sound like they are caring, nice and kind. but when things really happen, they might just watch u die, or shoot u behind. sick isnt't it?

blog at SCHOOL lab

house internet down. no online for me don't know till when sia...hmmm...

happy bday for both "piggie" and "da qiu".

had fun yesterday. simply likes food. and nowadays like to observe the design of the cakes. thurs also bought a cake for grandma.

just now watch a show called " final fu" , mtv channel.not bad, got more motivation to learn k.b better.

nowadays got lots injuries thu is just minor ones, from k.b and frisbee training. but had fun too.

wed frisbee tournament...try my best. aim? don't get the bottom 3~ come on man~

sat is going to haf fun~woohoo...eat prata then rollerblade. if got the money think will consider get a pair, coz the rollerblade shoe at ecp is soooo smelly........ also....nowadays like to eat at prata places, eat prata and drink milo dinosaur~~

nice food just make ur day.

aniway. juz wish to haf peace.

enjoyed

had fun this holiday.

thurs treat my family jack's place, coz quite satisfied with my income this month =). will never order set meal from there, not that nice...but the appetizer not bad,and ice/cream etc... then get the member card and borrow some books from library again.

at night go explore chinatown and little india with winnie. can't find my smelly tofu still, and we enjoyed fooling ard at little india...but one irritating thing is that the bangalas like keep looking at you,wonder what's their problem...

yesterday,hmpt my 'aunt' made me so pain, but plan to go cycling le...so don't wanna spoilt the plan, then i just went ahead. after eat the pills from kat. guess not so pain liao. then cycle 2 hr just for $6 bucks,quite satisfied. the skating beginner' corner is quite interesting, u will see some pros there, and pple falling down of coz...ahha...then saw quan yi feng again...plus 2 superhosts. then at night went for art lesson. tiring day...

sun either go skating or go vivo city,last day b4 school reopen...hmmm so fast...don't want...

monday need wear fully black for k.b...reminded me that my oni nice black pant was lost...haix.

bye sept

last day of september,last day work at ramen ten as well. oct will be a new month, and the starting of a new job.

shall not think too much. when u work u wanna quit,when u going to quit u wanna stay. how ironic life is.

been busy.

seldom wake up as early as today sia. and i think i don't like water color, wonder what i were drawing yesterday.

sometimes when i say sorry,doesn't mean that i agree that was my fault, maybe i simple just want to make the atmosphere better. get it.

nice songs make ur day.

that's all.

summary

tues to wed class chalet. had fun.
-->sw,lq,me,shir,py,eve,chris,ray,jk,steven,jx,xp,hd,yc

wed slp till 6pm sth, went for tuition, then mos.
-->you don't drink so much leh...

thurs went fortunate restaurant@ toapayoh. had dim sums for xia wu cha...nice!
-->family family family!

fri today water painting for lesson.

nervous to view result...arhhh...coz feel that did not do well...hmpt nvm...wat's done is done.

will join kick boxing when school reopen with anna. whee.

miss...

yesterday stay with winnie and ning till 2am plus...chit chat and play...funny and nice haha =) then first time take the NR1 realise it got alight at amk and bishan...not bad eh...

then ting hui is in singapore...woohoo...she finish her A and she got into cambridge uni! that's so great. what make me more envy is that she got to travel to italy,scotland and some places~ like so wonderful! italy...a place that i wanted to go...feel that she's quite enjoying life...i think live in western country is free and nice...abit motivated to work harder for my goal~!

had lunch with her and king at aji tei, my favourite unagi and sashimi bento...yum yum but not that full...but i was late again...and we all need to leave early like ard 2 plus to 3 sth, coz king need study for her maths exam tmr, me nid go for tuition and th meet her sis...hopefully tmr will see her again.

was like at least 1 year or more then can see her once, maybe i dun talk as much as b4, but inside my heart, i am really really happy...haix why always like that one, those people that i like and want to meet, must wait at least a year then can meet once....it's really really really a torture to me.....haix....feel very empty when everytime apart with them,both my family and friends.

=)

however in our life, some pple we might not want to see them, but we need to see them very often. isn't it a torture as well. opps.

then...eh late for tuition, late for ramen ten. like a chain...late for one thing...then resulted late for everything.

haixxxx....................

sometimes i really wonder...if other people were in my shoe, can they be real happy?

messy background.
messy status
unknown future like u can't even know where u will settle down.
messy home.

messy until u dun even wanna go clear ur mind to think about it. there' ll nv be an answer for it.

well but at least, i survived?

finish poly maybe the condition will be better, sometimes really hope time can pass abit faster.

yea i know i keep complaining abt it no use at all. so okay mum, i choose to live strong no matter what.

pple only see my smile, do they really understant what's behind a smile?

all i ask for is a simple and happy home. i don't wanna blame u anything already cause i know it will only hurt you. i know u live not easy as well. let's work hard together even we are physically apart.

okay enough of emo shit.

so envy sia anna got to meet westlife in person! that is like a dream comes true man!! she got to tok to them and get their signature omg~ makes me so regret that time nv go for bsb concert...at least can breath under the same place........so wanna blame myself! haix..coz sometimes when u miss a chance, u won't know when it will come again...maybe never.

she is so high now that wanna meet up. maybe later? really xian mu lehx...if i got to see bsb in real life i tink i also dun wanna slp already................................................

tmr should be a nice day too. that's all.

short updates

working is quite okay.
saw kwon sang woo at imm...crowed like mad...he is so charming!!
did some shoping...buy quite a number of things...and googles of couse...shld try do more sports during holiday.

swimming tmr...eh no i mean later...today...

that day had a big quarrel with mum...shout to the phone till like all the passer-by look at me? who cares, can't control. but luckily,now okay liao.

had a over night chatting time too...whee know some new stuff again.

liling reset her tamagotchi again and she was surprised that mine now is 3rd generation liao...eh but really so hard to feed meh? -_-??



recently open a chinese blog at wretch...quite a simple and nice website...so abit lazy to update here liao.

Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous

nice!