Sunday, May 31, 2009

can't describe the feeling now...

finally, i've got the answer and things are settled! like finally. but after the excitement, i realise there are actually more worries coming towards me.

the money issue, i think i really used to the comfortable life here, i did save up but like my mum said, i didn't save up the MAXIMUN amount that i can actually save, i still anyhow spend on food, clothes bla bla. now she gave me the warning that i gonna prepare to suffer when i go auckland, she will only like sponsor me 10k for everything, the extras, i gonna earn byself. i am actually a little bit scared, as i didnt touch the book almost 1 year and a half, work and study at the same time ain't easy, now feel more stress as i am really working for my own living, i am really scared..it seems things are so strange and unkown to me. anyway, chose this path, i will just go for it, hope i can adopt it as time goes by.

i feel abit down now, esp when i am with my grandma, i can feel that she very bu she de, i can somehow feel the sadness frm her action and expression, even thu she didn't say anything, i was like peep at her on and off and got this crying feeling, i don't know what to say also, but i know how she feels, i dont feel good as well.

hais...when i havent get the approval, i keeping chasing it, now i got it, i feel very lost, tats human nature i guess, i feel awful. and i wonder when will i be back.

aniway, i really hope the safety in auckland is fine, i am quite worried.

HAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!