Friday, December 19, 2008


finally, the high comm there stop asking me for documents, but anyway, that is the last doc that i think i can provide already. based on what the agent said, status now:PENDING.

now i reallly hate the word pending, pending means you have to wait and wait and nothing you can just have to wait for them to tell u the outcome, well, if is a good news, of coz i dun mind the wait, but then wat if not? if i just sit here and wait, i am gonna lost everything and going nowhere, why can't they be more sympathetic and care other's feeling? wait for a day more means another torturing day for me, now it makes me dun dare to switch my hp to silent mode, coz scared miss any calls, and i will keep checking my hp if there is any missed call, make me abit like oversensitive person, keep looking at hp...arhhhh hate it.........working like a zombie and waiting like the ant on the hot pan...........totally a torturing feeling........more over, i duno if should start another application, coz if i withdraw half way...i am gonna lose some money...DAMN SO now if oni they let me know the outcome faster ..then i will know my next step........................................

this period is really sux for direaction and lost............hatesssss it..................................................... when can it end?

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Quick Update again

~End of oct till start of nov eldc chalet


~FINALLY PASS FTT AT THE 3RD ATTEMPT.conclusion, if wanna pass, better go and study. but then again, wonder when can start practical as things still unkown YET.HAIS,again.
~always nice to eat cake man... ate the cakes that i like on friends' bday...which are awfully choc and the mint choc cake...LOL

Co.'s D&D at the end of Nov.

vain sia...curly hair for a nite. maybe in the future will perm? well, finally get a blonde patch lol..but think will dye back soon least finally tried~lol

sat will be collecting the running pack and sunday will be the standard charter marathon already. I am like didn't go and train and not wearing a proper running shoe...gonna suffer man...just hope won't puke and be able to complete the whole race, but still can't imaging keep running for more than an hour...
and recently realise sth weird, recently only, i feel like i lost/forget the feeling of like some1?just like kind of numb and can't recall how its like? besides, i like to tease girls? hmmm...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

boring entry

Cindy Ong, give me the pics to BLOG~~~~~~ was seriously stress up, serious, can't even sure what i am doing during work, just knew that i am keep doing and doing, hope nth goes wrong coz i am just "doing"...hais...quite insecure when u don't have the confidence in what you do yea...

damn why must they torture me like that? when i thought all the docs are ready, then tell me still need this still need that, then ask me send this and get that, even when the docs are so true and completed, they still got doubts and ask for more. hello, you simply say u want this, but what i need is to send things here and there. I GOT Not much time, damn it's really killing me, waste my time, also make me stuck in the air, i can't plan anything. damn. i really hope that i can directly talk to the officer, her/his brain stuck izit? Can they process faster? really hates this feeling, super super insecure and lost.

saw this tag, and suddenly recall that last time used to have few gals that called me "lao gong", hmm thinking back, like quite sweet huh? mayb i should find a new wife to call me lao gong le?hmmm...

well, i think i am fine that lost contact with some pple, i shall not give a damn also, no point one-sided, don't have to cherish the frenship if the other party don't even make effort? BYE...take care.

guys are getting weird and hard to understand, and i don't trust love as much like i do before i guess? it seems so hard for guys to remain faithful? i don't even trust my father, i keep asking my mother stop being soft hearted, always listen to him and give in to him, now i am still waiting for the visa to approve, on the other hand, my father is only care about his money because he wanna buy stocks, damn, super disappointed at the moment i heard about that, does he ever care about my future? WE NEED Money and now he only care about his STOCK? and honestly i really doubt if my dad is being faithful, i don't trust any men,there are just so many temptation outside, and my mother's backbone is too hard i guess, she agree to let him take back the money once it's done. WTh, in my whole life, did he ever care about my feeling and my study? well like other says, it's quite amazed that without parents by my side, i didn't gone bad? yea i wonder why also, sometimes i also wonder how i grow up like this i can't really rmb the feeling of that. sad? well at least compare to some, i am able to buy things that i like? so what? you can never make up for the love that i lack of. nowadays, how many love ones can last forever?

you simply flirt with everyone, or just that i think too much? stop flirt like this, it will makes me wonder. i can't sure if i sense right sometimes. hais.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

laid back

just somehow feel that october's quite a good month for me, mood's been kinda good.

okay finally made the decision, chosen university of queensland over UNSW,well, honestly, since duno when, i kinda like UNSW, i don't know is because of its name or impression or what, just like it, so i guess i somehow feel abit upset that i didn't choose it, but since both school are about the same standard, then must think about the cost already, then, i choose the shorter duration one, the cost is quite a big difference. but of cuz, i am scared if i really got to go queensland, i will be alone then.TOTALLY ALONE. if syd, at least got mother and pple i know, but, unsw is too ex...HAIS. aniway, few more weeks i will know my near future, hopefully things goes smooth~ i am working aimlessly now as this is not what i want to do, i am like working to pass the time as well as earning money, but nonthless,i started to get used to the workplace, thu i am still blur sometimes.

11-12oct bintan kelong, i wanna go back to the sea again. really nice.i hope i can improve on my swimming skill and be more brave~ banana boat is fun thu i got mani injuries for that.

a really good getaway.

time to get a shades?

next, ice skatin with cols. fun too, and go vogue after that, drink abit already cannot liao...weak lu.

end of this month, 3 days 2 night chalet. yea man~hope to have fun.

hmm recently try to see what's facebook about, and found out that he got one too, and he's new and duno how to use as well, but won't add him at the moment yea..also he might not accept.watever,aniway, his look more pai kia now? hais. well honestly, if i really got to leave here, mayb i will wanna ask u out and ask u to answer some of my doubts...whatever.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Saturday, September 13, 2008

nth is the same anymore...

suddenly i realise that, i actually can't rmb well what i've done, and if i don't write it down, i am going to lose all these memories but anyway, some i can't really rmb already, so i tink try to recall some recent events.

1.most of the ingredients for making coffee pork is ready, as my aunty's having a food stall, so she got quite a number of it, so now i nee to get 500g of the spare ribs, coffee oil and maltose, i can start my hands on, provided i really can find a day and guai guai stay at home and do, coz the marinate part already takes up about 3 hr.

2.i abit reluctant to teach my p5 boy nowadays, sometimes he is quite enthu during the tuition, but when he is not, it can be super irritating, besides, sometimes he don't know how to show respect to his teacher, hais see how le...aniway gonna take over ray's student maybe for like 2 months? hopefully this student will be better, since he's already a sec 2 boy, but still prefer if ray faster "take" it back as i find it abit tiring if teaching two kids at the same time, don't dare to imaging how tired i will be yet man~

3.Here it goes comex fair again. one year ago, i met him during the show when we selling gprs. hais thinking back, how time flies, it's been a year already, it was sweet then, but now? i guess he is happy flirting around, and i am still keep thinking abt the past, when can i completely get over it? it's alreay more than 6 months! i feel so useless that i still keep thinking abt tis everyday, it keep pops up in my mind, but i know he don't feel a thing and why can't i feel the same way like he do? it sucks.

and after this show, realli feel tired to work at IT fair le...not as energetic and enthu as b4, the sales is not good, and it will just makes u miss the poly life badly. hais if oni we don't have to grow up and step into the working life, i still feel insecure when working at the business firm, it seems that not everyone is as nice as you thought, why can't the communication be a more friendly one?

4.i don' know what's wrong, used to feel clubbing is abit wasting money and aimless lifestyle, but sometimes it can be fun? the atmostphere and the music sometimes is quite nice. last friday zouk, but ysd's PLAY is the most happening one to me, as the whole dance floor is actually filled with gays and i tink there is less than 10 gals there oni? they are kissing and holding hands. before i visited this club i didnt know that there are so actually so mani gays in our society, after ysd, if u are a gal and u see what i saw, it's actually quite disappointed as some of them are quite good looking and their dressing is style, imaging the pretty boy that dance besides you only likes guys, what's going on man? but at the same time, i feel quite comfortable with them around, they seems friendly and really enjoy themselves, not bad. and then, i keep saying him look like gay, now i feel that is so true! coz some gays i saw, is actually like his style, as in the dressing, and maybe the feeling. i think he should be convinced by me now, as he really did attracted some gays. then i suddenly imaging, what if i see him in this gay club? should i be happy that he become a gay? lols.but i tink impossible lar...he enjoy flirt with gals more i guess.

5.the date is approaching, think by mid oct, i should start the visa thingy already, i kinda scared of the outcome, so before the result comes out, currently i abit feel like live without aims, slack around, working just to get the money as my mind is still not in it. PRAY HARD AGAIN AND AGAIN.

6.Watched boys over flower, too sweet already as in this world, like so impoosible has such a perfect guy, handsome, rich and so loyal to gf. jue zhong nan ren liao.

7.still havent take the green belt...and how? should i transfer? hais...

8.tmr is zhong qiu jie already, gotta go over ky house to eat. hais when can i have a complete family zhong qiu jie?

9.quite good to meet up some old frens again, brings back the memories of those days, but some of them it's like so hard to meet again's kinda scary that u feel that some pple is just like is going to disappear in your life even u wanna them to stay, this feeling is very very horrible and really don't know how to describe it.

lastly, i tink is a bad idea to read your own old blog entries, it makes u think alot and wonder how come we cannot write the way like we used to write last time, a more interesting way. if only we can turn back time and nv grow up. feel so lost again after so long.

some guys eh..ask them out like so hard xin sia...

Friday, September 05, 2008

mix feeling

been busy around yet still thinks alot...

i am getting worst....i realli wanna be a punctual person, i am feeling super irresponsible right matter how serious i am during work...i know being late for work already spoilts everything...i am feeling very bad for that seriously yet at the same time...i keep repeating the same mistake...i wonder why am i like that? i realliii wanna change~!

honestly when pple ask me if i like my job, i just simply say out i don't know, no feeling, not say like, not say don't like as well. most importantly, the aus thing realli kills me, i am like waiting for the day to settle it, but still choosing betw the schools~ i need to bargain for two years instead of's tiring man...keep sending and waiting emails, kills me. at the same time, i realli realli scared the visa will be rejected, if that realli happens i realli will feel the end of the world i guess....BLESS ME PLS! i am still wandering around hais...

sometimes feel quite insecure as well, as u won't know when others are PMS-ing, hais, and quite scared when sth's screw up, it makes u nervous. hais duno le

Friday, August 15, 2008


after writing the previous post feel beta liao so no feel liao so remove it.

zzz bth myself...didnt study ftt then go and take the test end up fail, waste time and money. zzzz cannot like that liao...

hp nv spoilt...lols juz bo batt datz why cant turn on, scared myself.

no more eye candy liao...back to the normal dry office le...hais....

Monday, June 23, 2008


time passes really fast...i seem abit used to my job already, thu it's like less than 2 months only?
but also, as time goes by, i know myself better, i know i don't like this kind of work, this kind of environment, it seems easier and relax to talk to people in school environment ya? also, my punctuality really lousy which i really wish to change...then i realise i don't really like to follow rules, i don't like formal wear, so if only i got enough capital, and with the knowlege on how to run a business, i really wanna have a small buisness like food stores with my family, simple and nice...hmmm but it's so hard, firstly haven't form a family, secondly no capital yet~

now suddenly really feel the pressure about money issue, cause like so many fees need to pay and my mother this time like don't give in...not like last time i say i poor then she help abit, because i m working already, no excuse to ask money from her already eh...

sometimes really wanna cry it out loud to feel better, now all the pressures make my heart feels kinda heavy.

although school life is good, but sometimes i am still glad dat poly is over, coz looking back, it ain't happy throughout all the 3 years, and sometimes, i don't feel like get in touch with some people, well...

and why is it so hard to get over it~and i m now like being controlled, hope that after get what my mother wants me to get, i can get what i get as well, i wanna experience a new lifestyle, and i know it's gonna be super tough...poor life over there? lols...

and guys are really getting disguisting! what's in their mind? yucks.

i can blog during work today sia..can see how free i m today...zz but i dont like lei..coz act busy is hard~

i wanna get license and fly away from here. but then? after that? where will i belong in the future?

Sunday, March 23, 2008

quick update

the resutls better than expected.

well, but think mother still prefers me to work than study?

see how it goes le.

6th april - tkd grading. eh but think there like abit cheat money leh? like nv teach properly?
14 to 18 april macau trip . till then.

guess still not recover completely. it takes time i guess.

Monday, February 04, 2008

fren ask me...nx time dun be so silly already...don put in all the trust and emotions into a relationship, coz in the end.. will only hurt badly. but i was like answer, this kind of to control rite? u can't control the level of love you put into dat person...and for me, once in a relationship, i juz can't control, and will put 100percent of love,trust and care for that one. but yes, in the end, hurt badly, again and again.but i reallllllly love him....and i realli think he is good, but they ask me...he might nt as good as what u think..don't just keep thinking about the good pts of will onli hurts more. but, i can't think of ani bad pts of him nw, the most hurtful things is the things he did to me now, and i really don't undertand.

when will guys wanna settle down, why they still wanna play, why they just let go like that?
but for now,i still pretending, till exam ends. i think the result won't be much diff, but i realli still wanna try, even though i know i m gonna get hurt again.

why love betrays me when i trust it so much? my world has broke me...


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

exam timetable

12-FEB-08 (TUE)
12:30PM - 02:00PM
grp ZB
seat 19

13-FEB-08 (WED)
12:30PM - 02:30PM
grp 03
G.221 (Z3)
seat 141

Also, uni admission period. online application period- feb.
oversea uni preparation. (nz,ca)