Monday, September 26, 2005
In the bus...i suddenly got this thought...i don't wanna regret again...i wanna do sth that i really interested to do...so ... i m waiting for chris to give me the ans...hope his fren can make it.waiting...
I hate empty promises...ya ... refering some pple...i juz suddenly hate it. but..hack.
for the cca...once i reach the limit and can't take it anymore...i think i shall just quit?why torture youself? but... ya...i wish i can stay as long as i can.jia you.
and must really work hard...hope can complete my poly study..get the diploma...wait for me sydney~...i m asking mum to save money already.at least i have a so called direction...i know i must work hard to achieve,yet...i m so lazy and procrastinate...hmmm... yes and i really hope dat i can use the sticks ...once again. today saw king...she said that she felt like wasting time in jc...stress? she wants to go australia study too...but...ya...all we need is ...MONEY.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Sunday.which is today.ya.quite a good day.
morning meet meh at 11am at tpy mrt.went to St.Andrew's Cathedral @cityhall.erm.yes...a nice church.the traditional type.the session is called" Matttins with Holy Communion",then got prayer and sing hymn...erm...but...got some things i dunt really understand ...like...why there are so many MARYs? so and so...eh...but ...nvm...These weeks got go church...diff church give me diff feeling...erm..but why i keep going church?want to find some peace there? feel lost so want them to guide me? i duno.but at least...everytime i go...i sort of feeling "peaceful"...
Then...aft went funan IT mall...meh's fren joyce fetch us to one open area play hand drums.there are two other frens of them waiting there,with their hand drums.[and the ang moh looks very friendly...hehe... :) ] got see those drums at some places b4...but this is the first time i got to play them.interesting and nice...the sound makes u feel like dancing...then meh and her fren got teach me some rhythms...It's not easy to get the sharp tone...hands quite pain also...esp when use the wrong part of palm to hit the drum.when all play together...it's really nice.and ok...finally i rmb the names of the drums..conga,darbuka and djembes...haha... [keep on playing ya meh...nx time when free teach me again..hehe]
while waiting for meh's lesson end at paragon...OoOo saw fann wong and christopher lee...haha...both of them so tall...then eat at sakura dat time..if not wrong...shld b saw Adam zhan jin quan there...saw so many ming xin in one day sia...
and i think i abit crazy...i saw my bracelet again at 77th street...and i buy it again~this is the 3rd time i buy the same bracelet~~sounds abit siao...but...just duno why...like got gan qing like dat...too used to wear it...but aniway..i m gonna take care of it this time...i dun wanna lose it again~
and ya...everywhere will have THOSE KIND OF PPLE.no exception sia.try not to bother abt them.dun let them spoilt ur day.
and ya tmr Kbox ya...SING!and watch corpsebride soon...29th sept then on show...so late...
haha i guess these few days i m quite happy...and ya...one can't ALWAYS b happy rite...so shld cherish the happy days...and look on the bright side when the sad days come ya...at least u have experienced wat is HAPPY.Be strong.
set ur goals! so...sydney,wait for me! and i wanna have a doggie in the future...work hard for it.haha...
Thursday, September 22, 2005
(meh...still rmb this drawing...? =] )
Yea Exam is OVER. I should feel very excited...but...i just feel released for a short moment...because there are so many other stuffs that can pressurize u...this feeling is really bad...just for a moment...i suddenly feel so hopeless helpless and loneness...
sometimes i really so dislike...or nearly hate myself...why i always do and learn things half way then give up? why can't i be more endurant? learn this learn that but b4 completely learnt it i walked away.haiz.feel so wasted...ok...except some...some i really want and wish to continue...but parent dun't really support me to continue,and stop me.which is kinda sad too...which are...taekwondo and drum.now u ask me go back taekwondo again?i gt think b4...but is like i learned so many yrs ago liao...now join back?start frm white belt arh?or my bone is getting hard already...my stretching is always bad...drum...that time learn drum and guitar at the same time...mum feel dat drum is abit too expensive and not much use...so she stop me.haiz...haha i still rmb last time i keep searching for those small drum models...then dat time chrismas...i saw the small drums hang on the xmas tree in AMK MAC there...i go pull it down and take(steal?) it...kinda siao huh...lolz...
then last time?choir...dance...tennis...drawing...all half way? haiz...
then i got this chance to play other drums...liondance one...and the chinese drum...in SR.too bad...i m no longer in that school...and nyp's liondance not really gif me a good impression.I really miss those days...REALLY.I miss the chinese drum coach too~ monkey coach =) and now...sr ld is closing down?so i shld juz forget abt ld?haiz...or mayb coz my character suckz...mayb coz i dun dare to open my heart and tok to certain pple...so i feel scared and then left.nyp ld is one good example isn't it?
i am thinking.... when u keep saying that u miss those old days...is it means that in the present...u are actually not happy?mayb...or not as happy as b4...but don't you think that things are more simple in the old days...i wonder adult working life izit really so mean?so scary?i really scared.why can't this world just remain simple?why evil spirits are everywhere? and ya...it's always good to b a student...i think student is the best occupation...
i think these words are meaningful___"when u regret,it's already too late." think about it.i have done so many things which i regret...but i already can't mend it.
This holiday comes so suddenly...kinda not used to it...and i am leaving singapore on 3rd oct...back on 29th oct...hehe...but i still got so many things need to do here...it's not the right time...haiz...and for the CCA...is tough...real tough... worse than wat i think...haiz...see how it goes bah...think too much also no use...
I still hard to open my heart completely...try my best ...try my best!! and i hope the healing really can help my mum.and bless all of them healthy pls and thx...at this moment ...feel very demoralised...i need some motivation..pls...
Throw all my sorrows in blog...so in real life...i can face u with smiles?
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
recently then found out how to add effect to the photos..quite interesting...
not enough sleep will cause mood swing~~~and tonight suddenly received a long lost fren's msg...last time during jc know de...ask if i still rmb last time she promise to bring me to jalan kayu eat roti prata...ask when i free...it's like such a sudden...haha...nv contact her for quite long liao leh...then suddenly received her msg...abit weird...but is this shows that...somewhere there in the corner... there might be someone thinking of you now? haha..which is quite nice...so when feel sad or lonely...think more positive?
Lastly...this is my first "artistic piece"...for u =)
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
I really duno since when and why i got this obstacle in communication...since when my character become like this...scare to communicate with certain people and i really don't know why...since when i become like this? this isn't me...this is not the used-to-be me...since when???and i m so scared...i scared i can't get over it...for now at least...i duno...i feel so unease and uncomfortable...i can't talk in my own way and can't talk naturally in front of certain people...how m i suppose to face the following days?
mayb becos i too care and sensitive about how others think about me?mayb coz i scare what i do and say will make others buay song? or wat??? i don't know...sometimes don't wanna talk but somehow the surrounding force you to talk or to be active?
i don't know...i feel my life is in a mess now somehow...and i don't know if i m able to contribute to the cca...i don't know if can mix well with the people there coz so long nv go liao...feel so shit! shit...wanna shout.haiz i don't know...watever.i can't help myself...no one can help me..
And i only got to see her on last Friday night to Saturday Morning...we spent our night at king's house.(yes..as usual...friday is a good day) i was too tired that night after work...if not...i really don't wanna sleep so early that night...i felt like wasting the time on sleeping.shit.
hmmm....so....whenever see the chain...rmb each other k...u are not alone.so do I. (tony&tina)
i may not really know how's your life now...and my life isn't that smooth too...but jia you and work hard for it! yes..time and distance may change something...but i will never forget u,my first friend in whitley.cherish you always.(haha u know i really not used to say such mushy words...)all the best!
it happens that...the first friend i meet in my class...i named her tina...(ya it's u haha) isn't it a coincidence...both of my FIRST related to this name tina...and last time...i nearly use this name too. I DO BELIEVE IN FATE.
feel so fed up when lost something i used to wear... and it's the second time already...i buy and lost the same bracelet twice! feel so empty...coz i used to wear it...somehow called it lucky charm liao..now like cannot find it outside already..haiz...
exam's coming... holidays too...
(i want it back...haiz...)
Thursday, September 01, 2005
-=+The Apple Tree+=-
A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it every day. He loved the tree top, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow...He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.
Time went by....... The little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday. One day the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad. "Come play with me," the tree asked the boy.
"I am no longer a kid, I don't ' play around trees anymore." The boy replied, "I want toys. I need money to buy them." "Sorry, but I don't have money.....but you can pick my apples and sell them. Then you will have money." The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples.
The tree was sad.. One day the boy returned and the tree was so excited. "Come and play with me" the tree said. "I don't have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me? "Sorry but I don't have a house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house." So the boy cut all the branches off the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since then.
The tree was lonely and sad. One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was so delighted. "Come and play with me!" the tree said. "I am so sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat? " "Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy." So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a very long long time.
Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. "Sorry, my boy, but I don't have anything for you anymore. No more apples for yo u...." the tree said". "I don't have teeth to bite" the boy replied. "No more trunk for you to climb on" I am too old for that now" the boy said. "I really can't give you anything.....the only thing left is my dying roots" the tree said with tears. "I don't need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years." The boy replied "Good! Old Tree Roots is the best place to lean and rest on." "Come, come sit down with me and rest " The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears......
This is a story for everyone. The tree is our parents. When we were young, we loved to play with Mom and Dad...When we grew up, we left them...only come to them when we need something or when we are in trouble. No matter what, parents will always be there and give everything they can to make you happy. You may think the boy is cruel to the tree but that is how all of us are treating our parents.
Love your parents, no matter where they are.