Monday, August 29, 2005

summary


after i got this blog,seldom touch my hand-written diary already...hmmm....

Firstly wanna mention that...how cum each time after ate py's cookies then kana stomachache one eh...not only me...cookies curse? lolz...(jialat later she don't wanna let me eat her cookies...the cookies quite nice actually...)

and i have adopt a penguin online...haha u can find it by clicking "pianist" in my blog...under my profile column...click the penguin for few times... u will see sth...lame? haha...but it's cute.

Last saturday go watch"the spook show".what a night...

heard that there will b a grp of pple acting ghost to scare people b4 the show starts.while we came out frm the toilet,i saw a grp of pple down there near the exit.i can't see them clearly but i notice that one of the gal's body was covered with 'blood".then stupid...i pointed there and said "how cum dat gal so many blood..." then the pple there suddenly looked at my direction and all of them walk towards us.then we realised that they are the "ghosts".don't know why we were so scared and even ran to the toilet..push the door...screaming...(they ar human isn't it?) i don't know how to describe that moment,but they really scared us.

Starting, the magic show gave me a feeling:Satanic? cause the atmosphere is like..so...Spooky?
but then in the end...it's not really...i think this show is trying to tell us not to fear of anything ? and the last part...itz kinda like... become...christian time.but that night was fabulous.

Sunday...my fren bring me to another church..quite far...near east coast i guess...i will never forget that...the two ladies in front of me cried when they sang songz...shld i feel sad or happy for them?...cause while they were crying...somehow i saw their smiles too...mayb they felt released?hmm...so these two days are quite "christian"... i duno...the feeling kinda weird...most of them like think that "GOD has planned everything for them...everything is controlled by GOD...even themselves also actually belongs to GOD?" eh...i think for this moment..i can't really agree with this...i think WE are the one who control our own lives...but then again...i do believe in GOD...i believe when we pray...we will be blessed...so...i don't know.i feel lost...that's why i wanna find a "yi kao"? i don't know...

these few days..mood gets better...and i sort of feel that actually angry and being mean will only make yourself unhappy...so we really need to learn how to forgive and forget...stop judging others' behaviour? ya though easy to say hard to do.

today my java really aka aka type sia..bless me...at least give me a pass can?

oh ya and the show"the way home"is really touching...the grandma can make you cry...touching...but then which also reminds me that the way i treat my grandma is not good ...i m bad..i must change.

to mum and grandma

TO: Mum and Grandma...(private)

总有一日...我会比你地体到伊段网上日记...记录0左伊一刻我想讲噶0野...
妈0米,谁对谁错...都五紧要了...反正都到左伊步了...只有接受现状...大家一起努力啦...不过,有时我都会捻...点解我要0甘与众不同,无得同其他人一样...安稳地一家人开心甘过日子..点解要流离浪荡...哎...虽然...伊度的确令我多左好多见识...你话...人系要有野心的...不要安于现状...可能挂...我地一家人几时先可以再次团聚?我一直盼望紧伊一日...我等紧...等...好希望可以快D比你地一个安稳的生活!我会坚持...你都系...因为无退路了..只有一直向前...你千祈要保重身体...我希望个个都身体健康...
哎...我还是觉得好内疚...婆婆公公照顾了我这么久...但我都五生性!我好不孝...我无法原谅自己...走的那天还顾着同朋友玩...无见外公最后一面...我到现在还不能原谅我自己!我觉得我欠他们好多...但我对婆婆的态度还这么恶劣...我究竟系0米冷血噶!!!婆婆逐渐老去...我好怕她离开我...我好怕...我希望她身体健康...开心D...我好孤独...天啊...我点样赎罪...我点样表达...对悟住...

希望奇迹出现...请保佑我们...

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Affirmation-3

(in a website...i choose the number 3...and it shows this...)


I am eternal consciousness living inside

a lucid dream called life.

I am a lucid dreamer, for I am awake.

I live a lucid life.



watever

i like FRIDAY i guess...and today is quite a Ok day.
really scare Java...arh...and tmr...Magic show ya?
oh ya ...suddenly wanna mention sth...since when there's a word called bestest? and when u say the word "best",it can only be one.you can have many good friends,but only one best friend.

oh ya now Ramen ten not enough pple sia...in a danger...see people come and go...and i am survived...time flies and i have been working there ...like 7 months plus plus already...2nd longest sia...wow.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

starfish story

--=-- Story--=--

Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing.He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?"

The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing starfish in the ocean."

"I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?"

"The sun is up, and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die."

"But, young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach, and starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said, "It made a difference for that one."

Each of us can make a difference to this world. Everybody is useful and it is just the matter of whether u want to make a difference.

meaningful

Meaningful Quotes_____+++=_____

"Somewhere There's Someone Who Dreams Of Your Smile, And Finds In Your Presence That Life Is Worth While, So When You Are Lonely Remember It's True; Somebody Somewhere Is Thinking Of You"

"A guy and a girl can be just friends but at one point or another one of them will fall for the other, maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late or maybe, just maybe ...forever."

"The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you love them."


leo

Leo Sign Love Horoscope













A person born with Leo horoscope love compliments and praise. Give them plenty of it. Underneath the surface of this proud, take charge persona is a sensitive and vulnerable person that needs constant reassurance. It is an essential tool for them. Keep in mind, that flattery will get you everywhere. As a result, the more you feed a Leo's ego, the longer your relationship will last.

On a date with a Leo, be sure not to skimp on anything, as they love the pleasures of life and feel that they are deserving of nice things. People with Leo Sign tend to be spendthrifts as nothing is too good for them. Feel free to discuss topics of intellectual interest. Leo's love to share their opinion, although be aware that they are prone to be boisterous about what they believe is right, and in most cases will not alter in opinion.

Leos love to take charge and play the leading role. Sexually a Leo will go to all measures to please a partner. They want a relationship to be exciting and intense. However, as much as they need devotion, they deplore possessiveness and jealousy. A true Leo will remain faithful in a relationship, however they must have space and freedom to allow their outgoing nature to explore new adventures.

If you're looking for a generous, creative person that usually has a sunny disposition about life, you've found them. Don't forget to take into account that the Leo horoscope has the symbol of the lion for a reason. This king of the jungle, can be quite domineering at times. Nonetheless, provided with the necessities that a Leo needs, you will find an affectionate, cheerful companion that will do almost anything for you.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

dark period

These few days went home late...always stay back do project...everyone is so stressed...

and stupid me...today i finally...break down...all sort of feeling finally break me down...tears make my eyes pain...i really don't like this...but i can't help it. feel so weird.duno why like that also...gone case man.and ya...2 of u...ya...climb the toilet door...ya...

and still feel more comfortable when wif gals ONLY...why....

LIFE is a circle...u will nv know if u will b the next victim.u do this to others...mayb one day others will do the same to u.but anyway...feels better when say the things out rite...there is nothing wrong to express urself and ur feeling...too bad i don't really know how to express myself...my heart usually closed i guess?

i don't talk much during work...so ask me do instead of ask me say.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

stress

Very stress! i think everyone did.
project.
test.
pple.
arh stress!!

the sunday visit postpone...
so long nv go cca...hate myself afraid to go alone.
and yes...i m bad...
help me...

Thursday, August 18, 2005

like and love

The difference between liking and loving a person_________.;'*^':.


In front of the person you like, your heart beats faster
But in front of the person you love, you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you like,you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile.

In front of the person you like, you can't say everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you love, you can.

In front of the person you like, you tend to getshy.
But in front of the person you love, you can show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like.
But you can always smile and stare into the eyes of the one you love.

When the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.
But when the one you love is crying, you cry with them.

The feeling of like starts from the ear.
But the feeling of love starts from the eye.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is cover your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever...

moody day











This pic can express my feeling for
today.LONE.COLD.



Don't get to know someone too deep.u will b hurt.true sometimes.
today my feelings are very messy.VERY.happy...sad...lone...cold...high...low...outcast..,whatever.

everyday u might meet different pple...Day by day... get to know them bit by bit...u might start to feel that they are not the same as what u think b4.can b beta...can be worse.it's so tired sometimes to adapt the changes...real tired.tired to find out a person's true color also...so i think juz don't bother.when it comes...let it comes...

u won't know when u will b disliked or hated by someone...u won't know what you say or how u behave will make someone sick of u too...just like the pple and the frenz ard u...u won't know when u open ur heart to them...if they will open theirs for you too...or juz treat u as a joke and the gossip topic of the day.i will never know...and mayb that's why i m sensitive sumtimes.the world is complicated.

the feeling of unsafe and insecure increases.i treat u sincerely but can u do the same too?but sumtimes i can't even b true to myself,let alone u.i don't know myself well let alone u. feel beta when hide inside a shell? sometimes at least?

i don't know.its like...everyday is changing...everyone's moving on except u.a person looks fierce might b very friendly...a person looks cute might b wicked...a person looks happy might b sad...a person always smile might b goody goody or even backstab u...mayb i might b one? who knows? mayb i accidentally becum a backstabber without knowing it? who knows.

i think it's really good to have a religion to depend on...i believe it will change you to b a better person...this sunday...hope i can find sum answers...pls...




Wednesday, August 17, 2005

xp bdae

16 Aug
Victim of the day ----> fellow LEOist Wen Bin aka Xiao Pang

Spot 1:SBM TUT ROOM














[pink and black nail polish on both fingers
and toes,use lipsticks draw pictures on his body.]

Spot 2:Mac canteen




[Fart Spray + Salonpus]

Spot 3:SIT lecture Hall


[duno gel or glue + tissue]

PLUS:bared legs the whole day...CHEERS...Naked photos taken session...

What a HAPPY AND MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY...ya at least we have fun :p lolz...

Monday, August 15, 2005

lucky sia...


Because of today's 1505 and 1506 test,i woke up at 4am to study...(but during 4-5am...i was thinking of sth instead of studying...)then i get panic liao...coz i can't finish it.

I kept staring at the book,but nth could get into my mind.don't know how many brain cells have died today sia...i felt so happy when gary said that the java quiz was postponed.then during the 1505 test,everyone was copying but the lecturer nv scoled us.wow can't believe it rite...i even asked her to check if my T or F quiz correct and she said "yes".wow what a nice lecturer~what a lucky day... thought i will die on today's tests sia...finally can relax abit...not gloomy le.who suggested to sit at the back of the lecture hall huh...see...kana suan by john liao...

after the marketing lecture...discuss some interesting stuff in the lecture hall...well...

abt the SA camp on sat


Talk abit abt the SA camp on Last Saturday...

It's actually a 3 day camp...fri to sun,but i juz went on saturday.eh...suppose to reach at 8am,but set my alarm at a wrong timing...so in the end wake up late.and..ya...late for the meeting too...

when reached,the dance workshop was abt to end already.we stood there and looked at others dance...then after awhile..ended.what a waste.

Then thru out the whole day,there's no more workshop for dance,mostly was for drama..and TNT...and of course...gt games...

I ended up in grp 6.i m the only chinese in the grp.first time got such experience.felt kinda weird and uncomfortable at first...but this feeling did not last long...they are all friendly and nice pple...we are so bonding during the games and other activities...and...eh...during the drama workshop...i need to touch my male malay grp member's hairy leg...that's another story...

but sometimes still duno how to communicate well with others...

Really hope this is the right CCA for me...haiz..have tried so many CCAs before...like kendo,liondance,fboz,squash...some only accept pros,some bcoz my fren said too exp so didn't join,some bcoz of the pple there...haiz...really hope this is the right place for me...hope to dance again on the stage...i miss that feeling...

There is a reason why i put Tony Sun's photo...haiz...

Friday, August 12, 2005

things are changing...

Everything's changing...when looking back...feel so sad...
you can not turn back the time...haiz...

even my favourite band backstreet boys has changed.i still enjoying their old songs and old days.after waiting for abt 5 yrs...their album is finally out...songs are nice...but...not as nice as the old ones...don't have that feeling...they have changed alot too...miss the old them...



their new music video "just want u to know" is such a disaster!stupid director!

i know this fren who plays cosplay...cool huh...

She's cosplaying sasuke of the anime NARUTO

my thoughts

Negative Thoughts -ve -ve -ve -ve

Sometimes,really feel that life is so colourless.Especially without any MOTIVATION.

feel so sick these days.feel so sick to see some people... feel so disgusted to see some stupid guys doing stupid stuff...lost faith...how i wish my world is only filled with gals sumtimes...sucks.

always feel that jc life is much more simple and happy,but aft what i heard frm ping,my views are changed.but anywhere,no matter where we are in,bad pple are around us.I don't really know how to distinguish these pple,thatz why i am kinda...scared.really don't want to get hurt.I am easily judge a person by his/her look and action,which is no good?

In this world_____

  • There are smokers
  • backstabbers
  • bull shitters
  • attention seekers
  • hypocrites
  • fake pple
  • flirts
  • act cuters
  • liars (u dare to say u nv lied b4? i dare u)
  • pple wif attitude problems
  • action pet
  • big mouth pple
  • more and more...

sick of them...but for liars...i mean...ya...who nv lied b4?if u say u nv...tok cock la!

sumtimes really scared to communicate with strangers or make new friends...really don't want to get hurt.but i m not trying to b anti-social,don't really want to...but sumtimes juz got this sick feeling...sick to see the things happen ard me.i prefer silence.that's the safest way.don't want to force myself to do something that i don't want to...so if i feel moody or don't feel like toking ,i shall just keep my mouth shut.

anyway,feel so irritated when hear pple always complain abt all those super small things.fussy sia.i think sumtimes there is no point to show ur depression to others,don't spoilt other pple's day bcos of u.unless...the condition is really serious...

Confusion...straight...bend? tell me... i don't want..i just want a simple life...

talk so much...but anyway,it's my blog what.


gals can be boyish...and guys can be so girlish...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

creamy day

Today,was such a ....Creamy Day.

Well...really suprising...

Got see pple kana ATTACK by cake on TV show b4...but nv expect this will ever happen to me sia...wow thx for the one who sponsor this idea ( and i guess sher tiffany is the one ...)u all wasting food leh..think about the sunami victims lehx.I can sense sth will happen today,but i expect Water only,in the end...cake sia...wah hao hen leh ni men...VANESS...be CAREFUL...u ar the nx victim sia...oh ya today u also kana abit rite...haha...

the cream was all over my body sia...alot creams on the hair too...lookz like...shampooin...oh ya or should i blame the one who decide to buy a top?otherwise u all won't "force" me to wear it in this way?lolz.but i like the color...hehez

but i can't really rmb the details...coz keep screaming...it will be quite fun if the victim is not me...so OCTOBER can play again? lolz...oh ya and i tink chris is the first one who throw the cake on my hair? gei wo ji zhu horz...

well so nearly the whole day i got this creamy smell sia...nice smelling ya?hahaz


photo taken by:my gang partner...where ar sher tiffany and hei mei ren btw?

Mayb it will b quite cool to highlight sum white color?

Shampoo??

Oh ya today's color quite obvious,izit sth to do wif the cream?


But I really Appreciate it!!! Thx Buddies!!! thx all...and thx the guys who carry the cake and try to block the wind...lol...well...what's next?

(ps:ehh...i really so not feminine ar...? ~_~ ....oh ya ...today's biz com was a disaster...)

beach and firework again..



Well...yesterday...ya....go sentosa....

Then....


Firework again...but keep blocking by the buses...

that's about all ...lazy to write....

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Monday, August 08, 2005

abt the song:xin shang xin tong bu tong

For me,I prefer to write down my secretz inside my HappyHouse diary...so haha...i prefer to store more interesting stuffz here...
yea now i wld like to talk about a song called "xin shang xin tong bu tong"...haha sw will understand...lolz
i only know abt this song recently...becoz one of the superstar sang it during the competition...emphasis on the sentense"xin shang xin tong bu tong" this is my favourite and the only part i can rmb and sing...wana know how the actual song sounds like?my mp3 is always b there for u...


Here is the lyrics-->
背对着背偷偷的流泪 谁都害怕看谁的脸 静静回忆 追逐这些年 每一个爱的画面好美 背贴着背 沉默中无言 迷恋的你 万念俱灰 当我转身想吻你的泪 你却推开安慰 心伤心 痛不痛爱掏空 情失控 忘了听你想说什么 少了沟通变苦衷 心伤心 痛不痛 爱放纵情放手 忘了问你想要什麽 若给的起我都承受 走到门口我还你自由 泪在闪烁心在颤抖 爱情原来经不起犯错 扛不动回忆太重 寂寞太浓

Sunday, August 07, 2005

firework





The whole thing is"I WAS HERE"...Nice pose?lolz
yes...yesterday was quite a nice day.
As usual,i was late for tennis...being
late is always a bad habit of mine,but i m trying hard to improved...Sumtimes really feel like wasting money,after few lessons,i can't even play a proper game,haiz..kinda upset...after that,have some activities in sch...then went home...so tired...and i was fall asleep...but i still had to wake up at abt 4 o'clock to meet my friends...go and see firework...hehez...

While me,eve and peiying reached,Elaine&Steven,SW,WIN and JK were already there...we ahead to the direction of esplanade...(paiseh...as usual...i was late...again).VERY HUNGRY. I insisted to eat first.haha of coz my gang partner SW supported me...lolz.
The show started late,and we kept doing stupid things b4 it started..lolz.well,quite alot pple there.
haha guess all know how firework looks like right,so i lazy to describe...but really BEAUTIFUL and Nice ya...then...comes photo taking session...