Saturday, May 27, 2006

painful sia

abt yesterday.
fri no school so planned to go ecp cycling+blading then eat the cake at awfullychocolate.
cycled for 2 hours.and it's quite cheap.$4 for 2 hours. cut it short. while steven and elaine reached ecp...we went to katong mall ate the cake i've kept thinking of..the awfullychocolate cake.cos stella always bring this cake while she's on the taiwan shows.it looks nice. and when i realise sg also have this shop...so eager to eat it...but...not as that super nice as expected bah...

when back to ecp again.decide to take blade.and it's ex lor $6 like for 1hr sth like that only...even worse...i only like blade for half...coz when bladed downslope i fall badly...i kiss the road lor...nearly cried.very pain...thought bend forward will be more steady~~! now still quite painful...bruises all over body...worst thing is my left side the face now is like a pig face...super swollen...arh...so this weekend bobian stay at home rest... as i said...face is a sensitive issue now...coz my mum's face and datz why...the first thing i said when reached home is "don't tell mum". on the way some bad things happen too like sth wrong with the bike and forget to get back elaine's ezlink...

a long and tiring day...nt that bad...will be better if those incidents didn't happen. for me. conclusion is...will not blade again soon till there is a pro with me. hmmm last time used to have one...kept changing my mind for the tuition things...some is lack of confidence and some is don't want to cheat.hmmm.. indecisive person.

now...energy power is still low...zhou wei dou shi shan...guess is the most serious accident for me so far.hmmm not a good feeling.eyes pain also.time to rest again.hmm

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

life got to move on...one can't be pessimistic all the time... so ya... believe gonna be fine.

what can really cheers ur granny up? is to spend more time with them...well today reached home kinda early...5pm sth...it's like...don't know after how long didn't reached home so early already...can see that she felt quite happy...can see...then have dinner together at a normal dinner time...like after so long...realise actually sometimes it's not hard to make someone happy...just that u got to spend more time with them...and care for them. mum i will be strong.so do u. never give up ya.

today nearly can have my first student...a p1 korean kid!!! arh...at first so happy to hear dat lor...korean wor...but too bad...she said they want the tutor at least 25 years old.then got one...at boon keng...i think that's abit too far for me so reject...but anyway...hope they will call me back soon~

Friday, May 19, 2006

hollow

so i m wrong...grandma still angry with me...and i never give in...i never apologize...what a cold-blooded idiot i am...slap me. i feel so insecure when i know mum is injured but i don't know how serious the injury is...this feeling keep making me feel scared...anytime...anywhere...when think about it...my heart feel so cold. i thought i can't joke ard but i did today...but i m just a piece of hollow shit now...hollow soul or watever.

i really envy you..."you" who have ur family to be with u happily.

a piece of messy shit. how to pick myself up?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

bless her

tell me what to do...what to do...what to do...but what can i do? haven't tell granny yet...i don't want to see her reaction...don't want her to be panic...what can i do except praying now? what can i do...

i know i am talking rubbish but why let this happen to my mum...why why...i beg u give her good health can? her health is already bad enuff now why this kind of incident happen again?how pain...!!! blood omg...if is not very serious she won't cry when told me this...that's why i feel extra super worried coz i m not there...i can't even know how is her injury now and it's head! it's the important part of your body...i hope there are no scars on her head...i know she worried too...there is no one there to take care of her and what can i do now? i can do nth...GOD...please help me this time...i promise i will pray everyday...just please help me look after mummy k plase? bless her get well soon and no scar...a face is impt for a lady...please i beg u i beg u i beg u...

i can't anyhow waste money already...i need to lesser her burden...arh...please guide me what to do my mind is completely blank and i don't know how to face everyone now...wonder if can be happy again till she fully recovery...please bless her she is all alone...help me help me i really don't noe what to do i promise i will pray with all my heart please bless her...i don't know what to do...help me!! mum how i wish i can fly to u there now...i m so worried...gif her the power to be strong please i beg u...what can i do...why why why.

i am scared...truely...

Monday, May 15, 2006

stay cool

this sem...or maybe recently...really taste the feeling of "hard to breathe"...haix...feel really breathless..don't know is bcoz of school work...or project...or working...or other activities...now...trying to make some new movements...

firstly...aunt just help me ask the "zui fu lou"...the chinese restautant...hmm...said they will call me...heard is $6 per hr...also quite near house...once they contact me...i m gonna go there and try...if it suits me...then...erm...

nx step...call the tuition agency...

then...fri if nth's on...will go nafa apply for the part time course there which is called "basic western art"...hope things will go smooth please...yea...art...colors~

next week finance test and duno which IT module quiz i think...jiayou jiayou...and ecpj...jiayou too!

erm...think me and grandma bad for good le bah...still never say sorry to her in real life...but bought the milo and milk powder that she wants...hope she knows what i think...

for work...not sure where the stress comes from...but one of the reason maybe is bcoz...i still can't sure of that feeling and it makes me feel like don't know how...i don't want to continue like this...haix.end.


[devil beside you] sweet show!

nice song: for you i will by teddy geiger.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

sianz

have dinner with grandma and the family.early celebration for mother's day at a chinese restaurant at thomson. Finally.forget when was the last time we eating together outside.sighs.but so...haix...mother's day? i can't even able to celebrate with my mum...so instead...i tink i will treat my grandma.fine... but it's quite an nice meal.and i ask my aunt to help me ask if there's job vacancy and the ans seems positive.but they are busy so find out more info other day.also havent call those agency number...shld kick myself to call them soon. well...just tired of rt already maybe...trying to find new jobs...

havent get out of my messy world...everythings seems so messy still...and i want to blame myself for not brave enough...didn't go for the things i interested just bcoz frens not accompany...so unlike last time...well maybe i already lost that braveness and courage...how sad...this make me feel lost too...we live for ourselves not for others...so why let others affect u?haix...no no way...i shall not care much...must find my own aim asap...but maybe my true freedom can only come when complete the poly life...well...

sorry mum...send u the cards late...and still dare to ask u buy me a laptop...and thx that u agree...now is my problem...lazy to take the action...

since that stupid feeling comes and goes...i shall not bother...

feel very empty...many things missing in my heart...but who cares...just heck.

eye sight's getting worse...shld i get contact lense?

Sunday, May 07, 2006

pain arhhh!!!

shit...my tooth super super pain now ...cause me headache also...cant eat also...must be eating too many chocs recently? arh...hope i dun have to go see dental...it's the most scary place! arhh....

about friday:
super blur during finance tutorial...the teacher make me feel kinda stress also...start to worried liao...buck up buck up...been too slacking already...late for lec...some even skip...then never revise...like wasting time in school? time to stop this already...arh...and shld try to sleep earlier!!

then went cine sing the 2 to 7 pm kbox.expected...yvonne join us hafl way =p realised we sing quite a few female songs...so conclusion male songs nicer? ahha...

food republic full house...then i suggest go ramen ten AGAIN... must be sth wrong with me...have staff meal at ramen ten during work...then...even go out also go eat at ramen ten...siaox me. but this time is coz far east one got new menu...wanna try.

there also full hse...must wait some time to be seated...yea py ard 8 came? haha...coz sum1's working? lolx...juz kidding aniway...they all say the food is better than amk one...i nv order any main course...like nth want to try except the sushi...but it's really not bad...

shir von and sw left first...then the rest of us go wait for elaine off...outside mrt...at first they wanna go home i guess? but don't feel like wanna home yet...then suggest have supper...lol in the end all the 6 of us on...then go long john chit chat...feel abit sad when saw some ah ma need to work at late night...haix they should be sleeping at home instead of working at this timing...why...

cut it short...in the end we share cab home.tired an good day. it was like stay up from 6am sth till the nx day 3am sth? opps but after that kanna nag by grandma...

movie


初恋嗱喳面
(Merry-Go-Round)

一个暑假,谷佬带着儿子谷锋,女儿小谷咕开了一间嗱喳面店,希望在为期两个月的短期租约内,创出中年男人第一次也可能是唯一一次的成就出来。面店开张,谷锋带来了一个平凡得不可再平凡的善良女孩子Carlily来帮手,Carlily还带来了率直粗鲁姐姐Heman。

虽然大家的工作错漏百出,却无损一班年轻人朝夕相处的乐趣。小谷咕亦同时发现一个天天着校服,每晚都在打佯时份带同一个禾味婆来共吃一碗嗱喳面的神秘小男孩禾味龙。禾味龙原来是个孤儿,由禾味婆一手带大。禾味婆靠执纸皮为生,却最疼孙儿,所以每天看见禾味龙穿着校服出门,最是老怀安慰。

穿着校服的禾味龙一天出现嗱喳面店,原来他自动请缨,希望可以在面店觅得一份散工。从此,小谷咕有了一个经常与她玩IQ题目的好哥哥。禾味龙还不时送小谷咕礼物,虽然那些礼物都是禾味龙味禾味婆执纸皮时拾回来的。谷锋与Carlily开始拍拖,因为他们会一齐影贴纸相,他们会共饮一支汽水,他们会在过马路的时候,稍稍拖一下手仔……,还有谷锋对Carlily说:你的眼神,世上只有我一个捉到。  

禾味龙将所有IQ题目和心事都写在一本小簿上,只可惜一天忽然不见了,禾味龙决定重写一本一模一样的。然而有一天,他忽然看见小谷咕手上拿着他那本遗失的小簿,还向他展示里面有趣的内容。禾味龙剎那间虽然感到脸红耳热,但更令他兴奋的是,他们从此各自都拥有一本一模一样的小簿。

Carlily的家姐Heman,总是与谷锋针锋相对,狗咬狗骨。两人却意外地在一次(街头王比赛)的赛事中成为了优胜者,更获得一份免费游日本三天两夜的奖品。在家姐Heman的调虎离山策划之下,终于让Carlily可以与谷锋共赴日本,而Heman则搬到谷锋家住上几天,以掩饰陈家父母以为是两姐妹一齐去了日本。谷锋在日本,晚上打了个电话回家,接听的竟是Heman。一个电话,触发了一段有始无终的对话。他们从日本的电视节目谈起,说到世上有鬼,说到恋爱有否年龄阻滞…………,直到最后Heman说了一句话:"我现在睡在你的床上啊." 谷锋才猛然惊醒,想到一个陌生女孩子睡在自己的床上。在往后的漫漫长夜,谷锋因为这句说话,一直都没有再合上眼睛。  

翌日的旅游计划是往上野玩木马,谷锋与Carlily在JR地车上却来来回回经过了四次池袋,四次涉谷,四次神田,四次上野。因为,谷锋在车上睡着了。谷锋发梦也想不到,初恋的代价竟是将第一个女朋友变成第一个伤害的人。谷锋因此而沉默了,Heman因此而对小谷咕,禾味龙说了一句话:原来有些东西,只要喜欢一下,已经是错。小谷咕,禾味龙百思不得其解,只知道事态严重。终于,Carlily哭了,向谷锋提出分手,谷锋的世界从此变成只有黑夜。

在某个黑夜的黑夜,谷锋走到Carlily的楼下向她表示,他会在她的楼下跑四个圈,因为他可以做的,就是这么一点点。谷锋终于跑了四个圈,比池袋去上野的四个圈还要漫长痛苦。Carlily在决定跑到楼下的时候,谷锋已经消失了。可能,世上所有事情,本来就是如此。  

禾味龙的禾味婆决定要将禾味龙送去保良局,因为她要回乡安渡晚年。小谷咕关心禾味龙会否寂寞,禾味龙告诉她,每晚寂寞的时候,他都会想他们玩过的IQ题目,同埋,会想她一次…………暑假将结,嗱喳面店亦将结束,两个月的经营,没有为谷佬成就出人生一大创举,但却成就了两段嗱喳的初恋。原来初恋是:爱念萌生 关系夭折 暗恋 成功 示爱 失败 吵架分手 突然痊愈 然后揽住第二个又爱又憎......


-->that day accidentally saw this show on tv again...rainie is so sweet in the movie...zhou jun wei also...sweet...this time watched it...feel so touching...plus the background music which is kelly chan's "我们都是这样初恋的"...super nice...maybe becoz it brings me back some of the memories...因为果张千嬅噶YES!CARD...将我地拉埋一齐...初恋...短暂...sweet...simple...pure...and innocent. 保留心中...

recently got quite a number of nice song...chen-i's deng dai...cao ge's shu dao wu da ying wo...etc etc...make my day...