Monday, July 05, 2010

to me, somehow, i still can manage my stress from studies i think? i don't know why, maybe i just feel that its kind of meaningless to whine about the results and all those.... can't change anything; it's all done. you just have to move on i guess, as a student, this kind of stress is quite foreseeable isnt it?and stress from exam is not gonna kill you i guess.

or maybe is because, other stresses are already over the stress from studying. i am really helpless to change the current situation, all the conversations with my family become so heavy, and it seems that i should not complain and express how unhappy i am with my mum because i know that she suffers maybe at least 10 times or 100 times more than me, i know how hard her life is, but what can i do? i feel awful w/o family all these years but the same goes to her isnt it? she seldom pour her sorrows to me but i bet she cried many times behind me. but i am just unable to see her, unable to encounter the hard times together with her, we are both stuck in the middle, i really cant figure out when we can really settle down. i really need MIRACLE..MIRACLE PLEASE.

Dear Lord,
I really feel bad that when i feel i can't do anything and needs your help, then i come to you. but besides asking for your help..i really don't know what else i can't do...please, this feeling is getting worse, i really need your help, i really need miracle..please bless us and please watch over my family and send an angel to protect my mum. some people just end their lives when they can't overcome their stress, i will never thought of that, but i am really tired, i can't see the light now, i don't wanna live aimlessly. i need you to guide me. please please help me.

In Jesus's name, I pray. Amen.

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