obstacle of my character...

GOD you gonna help me pls...

I really duno since when and why i got this obstacle in communication...since when my character become like this...scare to communicate with certain people and i really don't know why...since when i become like this? this isn't me...this is not the used-to-be me...since when???and i m so scared...i scared i can't get over it...for now at least...i duno...i feel so unease and uncomfortable...i can't talk in my own way and can't talk naturally in front of certain people...how m i suppose to face the following days?

mayb becos i too care and sensitive about how others think about me?mayb coz i scare what i do and say will make others buay song? or wat??? i don't know...sometimes don't wanna talk but somehow the surrounding force you to talk or to be active?

i don't know...i feel my life is in a mess now somehow...and i don't know if i m able to contribute to the cca...i don't know if can mix well with the people there coz so long nv go liao...feel so shit! shit...wanna shout.haiz i don't know...watever.i can't help myself...no one can help me..