Thursday, September 22, 2005

exam's over...but...

Too bad...No one can Turn back Time...


(meh...still rmb this drawing...? =] )

Yea Exam is OVER. I should feel very excited...but...i just feel released for a short moment...because there are so many other stuffs that can pressurize u...this feeling is really bad...just for a moment...i suddenly feel so hopeless helpless and loneness...

sometimes i really so dislike...or nearly hate myself...why i always do and learn things half way then give up? why can't i be more endurant? learn this learn that but b4 completely learnt it i walked away.haiz.feel so wasted...ok...except some...some i really want and wish to continue...but parent dun't really support me to continue,and stop me.which is kinda sad too...which are...taekwondo and drum.now u ask me go back taekwondo again?i gt think b4...but is like i learned so many yrs ago liao...now join back?start frm white belt arh?or my bone is getting hard already...my stretching is always bad...drum...that time learn drum and guitar at the same time...mum feel dat drum is abit too expensive and not much use...so she stop me.haiz...haha i still rmb last time i keep searching for those small drum models...then dat time chrismas...i saw the small drums hang on the xmas tree in AMK MAC there...i go pull it down and take(steal?) it...kinda siao huh...lolz...
then last time?choir...dance...tennis...drawing...all half way? haiz...

then i got this chance to play other drums...liondance one...and the chinese drum...in SR.too bad...i m no longer in that school...and nyp's liondance not really gif me a good impression.I really miss those days...REALLY.I miss the chinese drum coach too~ monkey coach =) and now...sr ld is closing down?so i shld juz forget abt ld?haiz...or mayb coz my character suckz...mayb coz i dun dare to open my heart and tok to certain pple...so i feel scared and then left.nyp ld is one good example isn't it?

i am thinking.... when u keep saying that u miss those old days...is it means that in the present...u are actually not happy?mayb...or not as happy as b4...but don't you think that things are more simple in the old days...i wonder adult working life izit really so mean?so scary?i really scared.why can't this world just remain simple?why evil spirits are everywhere? and ya...it's always good to b a student...i think student is the best occupation...

i think these words are meaningful___"when u regret,it's already too late." think about it.i have done so many things which i regret...but i already can't mend it.
This holiday comes so suddenly...kinda not used to it...and i am leaving singapore on 3rd oct...back on 29th oct...hehe...but i still got so many things need to do here...it's not the right time...haiz...and for the CCA...is tough...real tough... worse than wat i think...haiz...see how it goes bah...think too much also no use...

I still hard to open my heart completely...try my best ...try my best!! and i hope the healing really can help my mum.and bless all of them healthy pls and thx...at this moment ...feel very demoralised...i need some motivation..pls...

Throw all my sorrows in blog...so in real life...i can face u with smiles?


MINE.haha...

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