Friday, February 12, 2010

mixed feelings

when it is getting close to the end, time always FLIES. now thinking back, my 3 months here seems like a dream, practically i don't really have to worry much and my life goes on here.But i need to back to reality soon, when i back to auckland, and start my school life once again. By then, i need to mug again. mug for job, mug for daily expense, mug for school,mug for adapting the life there again. basically, no more honeymoon. But this is my choice, i cannot complain.

But i do miss the pple here. and basically, i feel myself back to "normal" again when i met him. at least finally, i have feeling for some1 older than me! but too bad, frm the day he came and the day i left, less than a month, there is nth much i can do, juz when i am able to joke with him and he is able to joke back with me, i have to go. i can only bring this crush to leave with me, but well, maybe back to nzl, i will be able to let go of this feeling, i know myself, i can't handle long distance, i am bad at keeping long distance relationship, let it be frens or others, because i am not really active in chatting online. But when i see the person face to face, I am able to get connected again, it feels good to get re-connected.

but anyway, he will be in sg for just a year then flight back to his own country, totally impossible. but that night, when 4 gals with 1 guy chit chat at coffee beam, i feel happy and don't wish to say goodbye.

realise i prefer to blog when my mood isn't tat good, i guess blog is really the place for me to vent my unhappy emotions? when i feel happy, i dont really feel a need to blog it here , but when i am feeling down, maybe by blogging here, i feel better, and i dont really like to share my problems in detail in real life, i think maybe that explains why. i shall just let my emo side shows here and face the real world with a positive attitude.

anyway, yesterday just got the news dat my uncle pass away. life is really fragile, the next morning u woke up, you realise the loved ones just left without any words. i really can't imaging how painful it can be and i really scared to face this

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