26 marc'11 midnite, suddenly u whisper into my ears...kinda unprepared, hmm but i said we can give it a try.

but sometimes sth juz takes time i guess...

hope ur nt playing.

CHCH appeal event

http://news.chinesetown.co.nz/2011/0314/654492.html?1



LOL~ if i know this will happen , i will get up earlier to do some make up maybe lol

HAPPY CNY

These are really cute rite, mahjong cupcakes lol~~

WALKATHON

SPOT ME =))

Christmas party for the children with intellectual disability at MINDSville@Napiri

Date:20 dec 2010

Time:2pm-6pm

i tot we r going to visit the homless kids oni, becos i didnt really read the email, then i realise the children there are with intellectual disabilities. at first abit scared coz was wondering how to deal with them, but slowly, i enjoy this event, and would like to participate more.

i paired with this girl, we can't really communicate as she can't talk and it seems she has problem of understanding things, her hands r being tied as the nurse she is uncontrollable, she will run away.she can't talk but she always want to kiss or hug you, starting abit scared, but ultimately i realise a way that can calm her down---- food =x

personally i like this boy, he seems polite and mild~ i duno why he's been tied up becos he seemed normal to me, but at least when i say Hi to him, he replied me like..immediately..=)

actually i am quite lucky, on and off come back to the same company to work during holiday, its not usual i guess, and currently happy working, althu i feel sleepy and tired all the time ~.~

suddenly..i dun feel like going this church again.....i dun feel like socialise there anymore..i feel tired ...but...after watching the trailer of "most", my feeling toward God's love grows stronger, i wanna worship him, but i start to wonder, if mt well's acmc is the right place for me.

bits and pieces

The Korean style noodle that our lady boss made for us..yummy~~

New zealand fashion week 2010, eh...nth much to see?

mango mooncake in my hand, and green tea mooncake in the box

one of my favourite frm J'S tea, caramel pudding~

my hair colour, i think not bright enough =_=

i am so amazed to find this in auckland, reminds me of my old times with the birds. this is fake anyway

acting cool? =_=

banana split,@new market

play around with my clothes, mix and match

bigger hole in my pocket

Leave house at 8.30AM today, me, yy and rebec follow Kelly to East Tamaki, kind of warehouse sale. thought of juz window shopping, coz the sale there is like skin care, make up and fragrances, i thought i wont be that interested to buy but they were like "we shall see"...

It is an Elizabeth Arden sale, the prices there are really much lower than retail price, http://shop.elizabetharden.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=2779912&view=all

so in the end, i bought a few, eye cream, moisture lotion, eye shadows, and some gifts that i prepare for frens' bday. even saw britney, hilary duff, usher and M's fragrances, the prices are really good, didnt know they are under Elizabeth Arden till today.

quite guilty sia coz the hole in my pocker is getting bigger! recently abit over-spending, my exam results also not that good so i feel super guilty now. shit..shall control!

a not too bad term break

had a not too bad term break, with a not too bad mood.

Went for ski trip again, this time, i tried snowboard, haha i like it, but i still don't know how to break tho, but its fine, i would like to try it again.

randomly formed a small IB301 study group as well, totally random, but at least get to do some study aye?

last nite went to watch this musical called Luctatio Ultima by our uni students(mainly?). starting abit confused but getting better later on. overall? okay lar but not say very fantastic =x

and tmr gonna visit the china warship..and school starts. oh well~

anyway, have to praise NZL, level7 earthquake but no death, dats quite amazing, well done...

cut my hair aniway...

few more hours to my birthday again~~hmmm not too excited about it...like getting numb for birthdays~ sigh... i wanna be more mature though..

when can our family celebrate birthdays together? i am waiting for the day, the day that i am able to earn more money and able to get my parents some really nice birthday presents!

meanwhile, i pray to Lord for my last try to OZ. juz give me one more try.

i hate farewells, i hate goodbyes, i hate changes.

i have enough of them, i really hate to face them, but sadly i just have to face the fact that, i will never able to avoid them. they just happen as time goes by.

that's why i always ask myself, what if my mum didn't leave? what if i didn't go Singapore? What if i didn't come to auckland?

especially auckland, you will never know when u have to say goodbye to the person you know, it just seems that its an unavoidable fact that people in this city just come and go.

hais watever, and i am still thinking if i should visit the other church. sigh.

don't be a 无病呻吟 person. annoying.

quick post before going out

just realise my recent posts are toooooo heavy. post sth more casual this time?

i juz moved house. from a townhouse to a student apartment. totally new experience, as i have to go down to use public washing machine to do the laundry. but besides that, things are fine =)

ex-place:

Now```

kinda like my noticeboard...

if only mum could be happier, my life will be so much easier, i could not feel easy when she keep being like that, sometimes i really wonder, am i making the wrong choice to come here? am i the one that cause us both in this situation? "it's not that i don't want to do sth about it, i just don't know what can i do..."

to me, somehow, i still can manage my stress from studies i think? i don't know why, maybe i just feel that its kind of meaningless to whine about the results and all those.... since...you can't change anything; it's all done. you just have to move on i guess, as a student, this kind of stress is quite foreseeable isnt it?and stress from exam is not gonna kill you i guess.

or maybe is because, other stresses are already over the stress from studying. i am really helpless to change the current situation, all the conversations with my family become so heavy, and it seems that i should not complain and express how unhappy i am with my mum because i know that she suffers maybe at least 10 times or 100 times more than me, i know how hard her life is, but what can i do? i feel awful w/o family all these years but the same goes to her isnt it? she seldom pour her sorrows to me but i bet she cried many times behind me. but i am just unable to see her, unable to encounter the hard times together with her, we are both stuck in the middle, i really cant figure out when we can really settle down. i really need MIRACLE..MIRACLE PLEASE.

Dear Lord,
I really feel bad that when i feel i can't do anything and needs your help, then i come to you. but besides asking for your help..i really don't know what else i can't do...please, this feeling is getting worse, i really need your help, i really need miracle..please bless us and please watch over my family and send an angel to protect my mum. some people just end their lives when they can't overcome their stress, i will never thought of that, but i am really tired, i can't see the light now, i don't wanna live aimlessly. i need you to guide me. please please help me.

In Jesus's name, I pray. Amen.

當一個人一直回想著過去的美好回憶，是不是表示，她現在過得不快樂？

是我。

我在想，我現在是不是不快樂？所以總偶爾回味著過去。。。

我到底有嘗試過真正快樂的感覺嗎？連我自己都不能回答。

活在這樣的環境下，我真的能感覺到真正的快樂嗎？我連跟父母普通相處的機會都沒有，我的性格能不沒有缺陷嗎？

多羡慕那些幸福的家庭啊。多羡慕那些不用到處漂泊的人啊。

連自己都不瞭解自己，連未來會在哪裡，做些什麽都無法確定的我，為何表面看起來是開朗的呢？我根本是個缺乏安全感的人吧，多想封閉自己啊，但這個社會允許我活在自己的世界封閉自己嗎？NO.

再加上媽媽給的壓力，天啊，我是怎麼活過來的？

Happy Mother's day Still...

another mama day's gone, yet this is just another mama day without my mum by my side again..father's day is coming yea? yet it will be another dad's day without my dad by my side...sometimes i really hope there won't be any festivals like this...but what to do? when can i really celebrates all these with them? QUESTION MARK.

aniway...althou future is still so unknown to me, but sometimes i realise i can comfort myself to face it with a better attitude...ever since i came to nzl, i just feel that some1's helping me...otherwise, juz by myself, how could i be able to solve all the problems i faced here? i feel so blessed when i look for accomadation and jobs, and my study too, always last minute but still safe. all these are hard to just use the word "lucky" to describe...and because of this, i start to believe GOD is actually watching over me...well, i've never thought myself believe in this, esp when i was in SG, i detest Christian, coz some of them are just so...yucks...opps...forgive me to say that. but here, i can really feel the peace, and a few times, my heart's touched, i can't explain the feeling but i juz can't explain why my tears came out...

and I've meet some gals i kinda like...well, got feel? lols...nice to hug too =x

aniway, partly becos of IP MAN 2, i decided to go for Wing Chun lesson next thurs, hope it will be a nice one.

This city is still kind of strange to me..sigh..

what happend to me last night? i don't meant to expose my weakness infront of a group of pple..what happend?

miss the old me..and my long hair...

gosh international business really make me cant relax everyday,firstly i didnt study, secondly is becos, i don't know how to study for that. jialat.

stress

starbuck becomes my motivation and the little drink that spice up my day~

the cupcakes ( 19 march 2010) c.g meeting

recently just feel very stress ~~ feel like i've been slacking again but i can't be like this for my current subjects! not as easy..and tests are coming! haiss

stress...this period really feel the financial stress...shit..mainly coz mum's have a new plan for her work..hope she get that shop for her tailoring biz...PRAY HARD! hais...sometimes i feel quite upset...why it seems i am one of the fews that needs to work to support my daily expenses while other kids are happily studying without this extra stress? but i know i just have to deal with it! i just nid to vent it out here! arhhh i am tired....and when it comes to attend activities, i feel quite suck to be w/o my own transport and have to trouble others! i hate this feeling! hates it, i don't wanna trouble others, i don't like the feeling when i can't control my own schedule etc...

hais..feel so mess up now...hates it...but i just can't be like other pple..they are able to easily express their anger, their sadness, their moody, i just not able to do this, i hates this too! but eventually, u just have to deal and solve ur own problem BY YOURSELF.no one else.

blog in school

can't believe i am doing this, blogging in school library? feel so nerdy =x LOL... anyway just for once...around 15 more mins to the next and last lesson of the day.. ends at 4pm again...tiring~

school's started...like suddenly; sudden as in i don't really feel like i am prepared for that. well, 3 of the modules do not have course book to sell, which means i have to check and print out the notes every week! they just dun want to put all the notes at once and i don't know why, this is bad for lazy pple like me! i just prefer them to sell the whole course notes nicely instead of print them myself everyweek. arh hates it =( most of my modules requires lots of writing and reading, i hope i can survive.

anyway, currently working at a souvenier shop, under training thu but i hope things go right, as i feel quite comfortable working there =x