omg still slacking mode? hmmmm... but still gooooood luck for my exams!

i created this home-made rice wrap~whee

Exam Schedule - View
Chen Tina
2009 Second Semester
Class NbrClass
Section
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Subject
Catalogue Nbr
Date
TimeExam Type -->
Campus
Book
Calculator
42950
ECON
101
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29 Oct 2009
2:15PM- 5:30PM

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City
Closed Book
Calculators Permitted

42964
COMLAW
101
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31 Oct 2009
9:15AM-11:30AM

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City
Closed Book
No calculators permitted

43091
INFOSYS
110
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5 Nov 2009
9:15AM-12:30PM

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City
Restricted Book - Written upon
No calculators permitted

43064
ACCTG
101
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6 Nov 2009
9:15AM-12:30PM

--> --> --> -->
City
Closed Book
Calculators Permitted



wah so early finish~ might be going back sg after exam period~ woo long hol~

been here for almost a month, really need to brush up my english. Uni life is kinda diff, and the study style as well, not really used to it yet as it needs much more independency...a person like me, whom even ask fren to help me pick up my handphone and help me to talk, needs time to adjust to this style eh...realise most of the time i am the one whom say "HI" to others first, well, i think if not, how to get to know others right? and keep hearing pple say i look familiar to them, i wonder why and if this is a good thing?

luckily my hp and shoe are still in the style of auckland? lols, so some pple thought i've been here for quite long while i've been here only less than a month?

anyway kinda worried now as my mum told me she met a car accident few day ago! wth! why accident happens to her again! DAMN! she kanna hit and bounce to 2 m away! shit the car driver!!!!!!!!! arh this is too scary isnt it! car accident, you might just lose your life if meet a car accident! luckly mum is fine, as she claimed, and hopefully it is the truth. she dun wish to tell me in the first place,scared i will be worried, but i told her, as an adult, i've the right to know and i have to learn to accept any bad news. arh but the worst thing is i can't be by her side when this kind of shit thing happend to her! God bless her with good health plesse. i BEG YOU. i can't take it if anything bad happen again, and at the same time i am new to a new country, differnt kind of stress just will be coming i foresee. sometimes i wonder why i made this choice, but there is no turning back?

still got so many assignement to do but i still feel quite lost? oh mine, hope can get through this, i can't afford to fail.

in Auckland`

hey there, if you happened to read my blog, please note that....MY FACEBOOK ACCOUNT IS GONE!!
due to some mistake...dots..sian..trying to reset and re- add soon

can't describe the feeling now...

finally, i've got the answer and things are settled! like finally. but after the excitement, i realise there are actually more worries coming towards me.

the money issue, i think i really used to the comfortable life here, i did save up but like my mum said, i didn't save up the MAXIMUN amount that i can actually save, i still anyhow spend on food, clothes bla bla. now she gave me the warning that i gonna prepare to suffer when i go auckland, she will only like sponsor me 10k for everything, the extras, i gonna earn byself. i am actually a little bit scared, as i didnt touch the book almost 1 year and a half, work and study at the same time ain't easy, now feel more stress as i am really working for my own living, i am really scared..it seems things are so strange and unkown to me. anyway, chose this path, i will just go for it, hope i can adopt it as time goes by.

i feel abit down now, esp when i am with my grandma, i can feel that she very bu she de, i can somehow feel the sadness frm her action and expression, even thu she didn't say anything, i was like peep at her on and off and got this crying feeling, i don't know what to say also, but i know how she feels, i dont feel good as well.

hais...when i havent get the approval, i keeping chasing it, now i got it, i feel very lost, tats human nature i guess, i feel awful. and i wonder when will i be back.

aniway, i really hope the safety in auckland is fine, i am quite worried.

HAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JP Morgan Run

Number 9465. Lol.

JP Morgan run 2009, dated 16.04.2009 6pm.

erm..when reached tat time it showed 57 mins...but can i like deduct 10mins? coz after the run started, i think i got stucked for at least 10mins? lol.. then, compared to the starndard charter, the route is not as nice to run, and it got U-turn one, i don't like.

After that heard people say that quite a number of people cheated during the run, i not sure how lar but somehow is like they wait at duno which point then after that join back the crowd. I think it saved around 2km's run?

but well, fair run is better lar.... got pride okay.

tmr gonna submit all the docs again. hopefully no more doc they asked from me lar! coz it's quite frustrating as i actually go apply it quite early this time but end up now like quite rush again. super low efficiency!

April Already, july is the date. I can't wait to get the visa and flight off! and, to leave the job that i don't think i suit!

BLESS ME!

one more try.

the bruises i got from archery~ 1st lesson only blue-black, and this time round see blood!

hurt till i got abit phobia already so decided to get the protection set from instructor. 2 pieces, one for finger and one for elbow.

realise i don't really have must strength,hmm thinking how to improve on this. now the distance is only 5M away, as the level goes up, the distance will be further, which requires more strength.

week before last week is kinda sux i should say, and it's the first time that my health is affected due to this kind of stress. but after that incident, i feel the sudden change of my attitude towards certain things, and realise sometimes,silence is really a good way to keep things going. i just wish i can safely cont to work till the day my nzl visa is settle, i hope GOD won't let me disappointed again and again, my heart is weak...hmmm

and feel that sometimes, the longer u know the person, u actually realise that the lesser you understand the person...at that point of time feel abit lost actually, but i think we just need to learn how to adjust this kind of feeling and accept the fact, and maybe try to know more about the diff side of your fren. arh watever.

lastly, i think big mouth people is getting irritating.

sux man

Will be away to HK and GZ from 26th to 5th Feb, a super last minute decision, it sounds funny but I don’t know why just suddenly feel like going Disney Land, trying to find some happiness there or what? But I am only able to treat daddy go, I wonder when we can go as a complete family…can’t believe it, it’s been more than 10 years since I saw my mother? I don’t think anyone is able to image how it’s like unless you are the one who’s experiencing it.

Waiting, yes waiting is really the worse feeling in the world for me at the moment.

As I got bonus this month, so I plan to bring more money for this trip, since it’s winter there and I’ve not much winter clothes, I thought I can have a good shopping and also, able to treat my relatives yum cha, dinner etc, and also, to cover daddy’ expense for two weeks, lol which I think I will feel quite happy as finally I am able to give instead of take, and which, also make me feel tat I’ve finally grow up a bit?

Arh damn but now, my wallet is suddenly so tighten up as I’ve spend nearly 1.7k for just one teeth. Yea can’t believe it man is 1.7k SGD. FAINT! Cannel treatment, few years ago my right side I rmb is cost about 300 plus,,,now is 5 times it…dentist is like the thief whom can steal your money legally! And you can’t say NO.

As our co. will sponsor us 200 bucks for dental so I thought of using it to fill the tooth and also to wash my teeth, but then the dentist told me that the hole is too big and unable to fill anymore, the only way is to do the root canal treatment, which I roughly know what it’s about and I know it’s expensive, I was like thinking, huh again. Okay so I asked the price and I didn’t expect he told me it is around 950 bucks, nearly 1000? Wah it’s like WOW. I asked if I don’t do and leave it like that then? He said cannot lar, eventually it will drop off, so like no choice, that is an important teeth, I lost one already, cannot lose another one liao. So start lor, then half way he told me my teeth is very complicated and is beyond his skill to cont, need to divert me to another specialist, wah, BEYOND SKILL, What a phrase, sommore he’s the dentist that I quite trust in de leh,now told me this, bo bian, I must cont so I follow his instruction and went to paragon’s level 11. dental clinic opens at PARAGON, walao, supre high price, except that, I do feel the difference as the equipment, environment all these are really more Pro the feeling~ then this side along, 1200 k plus, and Saturday still need to go back bishan one to do the crown thing, which total will be 460 plus…SUPER BIG HOLE IN MY POCKET, suddenly I lost all the plans as it’s such a big sum of money that I spend,

Suddenly feel health is so important, no matter how much u earn, if you are not healthy, eventually all the money will be eaten up by doctors and dentist!
Felt my tooth is so expensive now and must watch out what I eat already? Super no mood..and first time got and MC and is due to dental? Kind of weird.

And I really HATE AUSSIE EMBASSY! No news yet and hello sem is going to start, they are super irresponsible and the agency told me there is no way to complain. What kind of shit is there sia. Really start to hate them! Okay althu my case is more complicated but also dun need to drag till so long? I just feel that they are wasting my life! So I guess I shall prepare the worse, deferment and also another country?

And if I start my practical, am I able to complete b4 the deadline? It’s all about time, DAMN AUSSIE EMBASSY! But I don’t even know who I can complain to, hate the government, feel so helpless,

Simply nth seems right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hanging nowhere, I am working for sth I don’t really like but I can do nth right now, I just have to hang here, but its seems the performance is getting worse, and seeing people anyhow give you comment without any logic and evidence just made you so pissed off, I am getting insecure already as I really don’t know what’s in their mind and how they think about you, for now, I just wish to faster end the work and leave, I don’t wish to have more communication already.

torturing...

finally, the high comm there stop asking me for documents, but anyway, that is the last doc that i think i can provide already. based on what the agent said, status now:PENDING.

now i reallly hate the word pending, pending means you have to wait and wait and nothing you can do...you just have to wait for them to tell u the outcome, well, if is a good news, of coz i dun mind the wait, but then wat if not? if i just sit here and wait, i am gonna lost everything and going nowhere, why can't they be more sympathetic and care other's feeling? wait for a day more means another torturing day for me, now it makes me dun dare to switch my hp to silent mode, coz scared miss any calls, and i will keep checking my hp if there is any missed call, make me abit like oversensitive person, keep looking at hp...arhhhh hate it.........working like a zombie and waiting like the ant on the hot pan...........totally a torturing feeling........more over, i duno if should start another application, coz if i withdraw half way...i am gonna lose some money...DAMN SO now if oni they let me know the outcome faster ..then i will know my next step........................................



this period is really sux for me........no direaction and lost............hatesssss it..................................................... when can it end?

Quick Update again

~End of oct till start of nov eldc chalet

~next

~FINALLY PASS FTT AT THE 3RD ATTEMPT.conclusion, if wanna pass, better go and study. but then again, wonder when can start practical as things still unkown YET.HAIS,again.

~always nice to eat cake man... ate the cakes that i like on friends' bday...which are awfully choc and the mint choc cake...LOL

Co.'s D&D at the end of Nov.

vain sia...curly hair for a nite. maybe in the future will perm? well, finally get a blonde patch lol..but think will dye back soon lar...at least finally tried~lol

sat will be collecting the running pack and sunday will be the standard charter marathon already. I am like didn't go and train and not wearing a proper running shoe...gonna suffer man...just hope won't puke and be able to complete the whole race, but still can't imaging keep running for more than an hour...
and recently realise sth weird, recently only, i feel like i lost/forget the feeling of like some1?just like kind of numb and can't recall how its like? besides, i like to tease girls? hmmm...

boring entry

Cindy Ong, give me the pics to BLOG~~~~~~

Okay...today was seriously stress up, serious, can't even sure what i am doing during work, just knew that i am keep doing and doing, hope nth goes wrong coz i am just "doing"...hais...quite insecure when u don't have the confidence in what you do yea...

damn why must they torture me like that? when i thought all the docs are ready, then tell me still need this still need that, then ask me send this and get that, even when the docs are so true and completed, they still got doubts and ask for more. hello, you simply say u want this, but what i need is to send things here and there. I GOT Not much time, damn it's really killing me, waste my time, also make me stuck in the air, i can't plan anything. damn. i really hope that i can directly talk to the officer, her/his brain stuck izit? Can they process faster? really hates this feeling, super super insecure and lost.

saw this tag, and suddenly recall that last time used to have few gals that called me "lao gong", hmm thinking back, like quite sweet huh? mayb i should find a new wife to call me lao gong le?hmmm...

well, i think i am fine that lost contact with some pple, i shall not give a damn also, no point one-sided, don't have to cherish the frenship if the other party don't even make effort? BYE...take care.

guys are getting weird and hard to understand, and i don't trust love as much like i do before i guess? it seems so hard for guys to remain faithful? i don't even trust my father, i keep asking my mother stop being soft hearted, always listen to him and give in to him, now i am still waiting for the visa to approve, on the other hand, my father is only care about his money because he wanna buy stocks, damn, super disappointed at the moment i heard about that, does he ever care about my future? WE NEED Money and now he only care about his STOCK? and honestly i really doubt if my dad is being faithful, i don't trust any men,there are just so many temptation outside, and my mother's backbone is too hard i guess, she agree to let him take back the money once it's done. WTh, in my whole life, did he ever care about my feeling and my study? well like other says, it's quite amazed that without parents by my side, i didn't gone bad? yea i wonder why also, sometimes i also wonder how i grow up like this also...family? i can't really rmb the feeling of that. sad? well at least compare to some, i am able to buy things that i like? so what? you can never make up for the love that i lack of. nowadays, how many love ones can last forever?

you simply flirt with everyone, or just that i think too much? stop flirt like this, it will makes me wonder. i can't sure if i sense right sometimes. hais.

laid back

just somehow feel that october's quite a good month for me, mood's been kinda good.

okay finally made the decision, chosen university of queensland over UNSW,well, honestly, since duno when, i kinda like UNSW, i don't know is because of its name or impression or what, just like it, so i guess i somehow feel abit upset that i didn't choose it, but since both school are about the same standard, then must think about the cost already, then, i choose the shorter duration one, the cost is quite a big difference. but of cuz, i am scared if i really got to go queensland, i will be alone then.TOTALLY ALONE. if syd, at least got mother and pple i know, but, unsw is too ex...HAIS. aniway, few more weeks i will know my near future, hopefully things goes smooth~ i am working aimlessly now as this is not what i want to do, i am like working to pass the time as well as earning money, but nonthless,i started to get used to the workplace, thu i am still blur sometimes.

11-12oct bintan kelong, i wanna go back to the sea again. really nice.i hope i can improve on my swimming skill and be more brave~ banana boat is fun thu i got mani injuries for that.


a really good getaway.

time to get a shades?

next, ice skatin with cols. fun too, and go vogue after that, drink abit already cannot liao...weak lu.

end of this month, 3 days 2 night chalet. yea man~hope to have fun.

hmm recently try to see what's facebook about, and found out that he got one too, and he's new and duno how to use as well, but won't add him at the moment yea..also he might not accept.watever,aniway, his look more pai kia now? hais. well honestly, if i really got to leave here, mayb i will wanna ask u out and ask u to answer some of my doubts...whatever.

DJ Shog~ trance?

nice.

nth is the same anymore...

suddenly i realise that, i actually can't rmb well what i've done, and if i don't write it down, i am going to lose all these memories but anyway, some i can't really rmb already, so i tink try to recall some recent events.

1.most of the ingredients for making coffee pork is ready, as my aunty's having a food stall, so she got quite a number of it, so now i nee to get 500g of the spare ribs, coffee oil and maltose, i can start my hands on, provided i really can find a day and guai guai stay at home and do, coz the marinate part already takes up about 3 hr.

2.i abit reluctant to teach my p5 boy nowadays, sometimes he is quite enthu during the tuition, but when he is not, it can be super irritating, besides, sometimes he don't know how to show respect to his teacher, hais see how le...aniway gonna take over ray's student maybe for like 2 months? hopefully this student will be better, since he's already a sec 2 boy, but still prefer if ray faster "take" it back as i find it abit tiring if teaching two kids at the same time, don't dare to imaging how tired i will be yet man~

3.Here it goes comex fair again. one year ago, i met him during the show when we selling gprs. hais thinking back, how time flies, it's been a year already, it was sweet then, but now? i guess he is happy flirting around, and i am still keep thinking abt the past, when can i completely get over it? it's alreay more than 6 months! i feel so useless that i still keep thinking abt tis everyday, it keep pops up in my mind, but i know he don't feel a thing and why can't i feel the same way like he do? it sucks.

and after this show, realli feel tired to work at IT fair le...not as energetic and enthu as b4, the sales is not good, and it will just makes u miss the poly life badly. hais if oni we don't have to grow up and step into the working life, i still feel insecure when working at the business firm, it seems that not everyone is as nice as you thought, why can't the communication be a more friendly one?

4.i don' know what's wrong, used to feel clubbing is abit wasting money and aimless lifestyle, but sometimes it can be fun? the atmostphere and the music sometimes is quite nice. last friday zouk, but ysd's PLAY is the most happening one to me, as the whole dance floor is actually filled with gays and i tink there is less than 10 gals there oni? they are kissing and holding hands. before i visited this club i didnt know that there are so actually so mani gays in our society, after ysd, if u are a gal and u see what i saw, it's actually quite disappointed as some of them are quite good looking and their dressing is style, imaging the pretty boy that dance besides you only likes guys, what's going on man? but at the same time, i feel quite comfortable with them around, they seems friendly and really enjoy themselves, not bad. and then, i keep saying him look like gay, now i feel that is so true! coz some gays i saw, is actually like his style, as in the dressing, and maybe the feeling. i think he should be convinced by me now, as he really did attracted some gays. then i suddenly imaging, what if i see him in this gay club? should i be happy that he become a gay? lols.but i tink impossible lar...he enjoy flirt with gals more i guess.

5.the date is approaching, think by mid oct, i should start the visa thingy already, i kinda scared of the outcome, so before the result comes out, currently i abit feel like live without aims, slack around, working just to get the money as my mind is still not in it. PRAY HARD AGAIN AND AGAIN.

6.Watched boys over flower, too sweet already as in this world, like so impoosible has such a perfect guy, handsome, rich and so loyal to gf. jue zhong nan ren liao.



7.still havent take the green belt...and how? should i transfer? hais...

8.tmr is zhong qiu jie already, gotta go over ky house to eat. hais when can i have a complete family zhong qiu jie?

9.quite good to meet up some old frens again, brings back the memories of those days, but some of them it's like so hard to meet again ya...it's kinda scary that u feel that some pple is just like is going to disappear in your life even u wanna them to stay, this feeling is very very horrible and really don't know how to describe it.


lastly, i tink is a bad idea to read your own old blog entries, it makes u think alot and wonder how come we cannot write the way like we used to write last time, a more interesting way. if only we can turn back time and nv grow up. feel so lost again after so long.












some guys eh..ask them out like so hard lor...bo xin sia...

mix feeling

been busy around yet still thinks alot...

i am getting worst....i realli wanna be a punctual person, i am feeling super irresponsible right now...no matter how serious i am during work...i know being late for work already spoilts everything...i am feeling very bad for that seriously yet at the same time...i keep repeating the same mistake...i wonder why am i like that? i realliii wanna change~!

honestly when pple ask me if i like my job, i just simply say out i don't know, no feeling, not say like, not say don't like as well. most importantly, the aus thing realli kills me, i am like waiting for the day to settle it, but still choosing betw the schools~ i need to bargain for two years instead of 3....it's tiring man...keep sending and waiting emails, kills me. at the same time, i realli realli scared the visa will be rejected, if that realli happens i realli will feel the end of the world i guess....BLESS ME PLS! i am still wandering around hais...

sometimes feel quite insecure as well, as u won't know when others are PMS-ing, hais, and quite scared when sth's screw up, it makes u nervous. hais duno le

hmm

after writing the previous post feel beta liao so no feel liao so remove it.

zzz bth myself...didnt study ftt then go and take the test end up fail, waste time and money. zzzz cannot like that liao...

hp nv spoilt...lols juz bo batt datz why cant turn on, scared myself.

no more eye candy liao...back to the normal dry office le...hais....

tiring...

time passes really fast...i seem abit used to my job already, thu it's like less than 2 months only?
but also, as time goes by, i know myself better, i know i don't like this kind of work, this kind of environment, it seems easier and relax to talk to people in school environment ya? also, my punctuality really lousy which i really wish to change...then i realise i don't really like to follow rules, i don't like formal wear, so if only i got enough capital, and with the knowlege on how to run a business, i really wanna have a small buisness like food stores with my family, simple and nice...hmmm but it's so hard, firstly haven't form a family, secondly no capital yet~

now suddenly really feel the pressure about money issue, cause like so many fees need to pay and my mother this time like don't give in...not like last time i say i poor then she help abit, because i m working already, no excuse to ask money from her already eh...

sometimes really wanna cry it out loud to feel better, now all the pressures make my heart feels kinda heavy.

although school life is good, but sometimes i am still glad dat poly is over, coz looking back, it ain't happy throughout all the 3 years, and sometimes, i don't feel like get in touch with some people, well...

and why is it so hard to get over it~and i m now like being controlled, hope that after get what my mother wants me to get, i can get what i get as well, i wanna experience a new lifestyle, and i know it's gonna be super tough...poor life over there? lols...

and guys are really getting disguisting! what's in their mind? yucks.

i can blog during work today sia..can see how free i m today...zz but i dont like lei..coz act busy is hard~

i wanna get license and fly away from here. but then? after that? where will i belong in the future?

quick update

the resutls better than expected.

well, but think mother still prefers me to work than study?

see how it goes le.


6th april - tkd grading. eh but think there like abit cheat money leh? like nv teach properly?
14 to 18 april macau trip . till then.


guess still not recover completely. it takes time i guess.

fren ask me...nx time dun be so silly already...don put in all the trust and emotions into a relationship, coz in the end.. will only hurt badly. but i was like answer, this kind of feeling...how to control rite? u can't control the level of love you put into dat person...and for me, once in a relationship, i juz can't control, and will put 100percent of love,trust and care for that one. but yes, in the end, hurt badly, again and again.but i reallllllly love him....and i realli think he is good, but they ask me...he might nt as good as what u think..don't just keep thinking about the good pts of him...it will onli hurts more. but, i can't think of ani bad pts of him nw, the most hurtful things is the things he did to me now, and i really don't undertand.

when will guys wanna settle down, why they still wanna play, why they just let go like that?
but for now,i still pretending, till exam ends. i think the result won't be much diff, but i realli still wanna try, even though i know i m gonna get hurt again.

why love betrays me when i trust it so much? my world has broke down...help me...

人群里面那个我把幸福遗落那曾经走过的路口我停了你却走我想捂住我的耳朵听不见你说爱就在此刻松手分手放手我猜不透不猜透和你背对背的走原来怪我没有没有爱情的天分你才要走我想要学会自我催眠痛觉会少一些潜意识作祟想着想到失眠我躺在没有你的房间寂寞更加明显我渐渐的自我催眠却回不到从前等着红灯那个我还会向前走也许那幸福的执着在下一个路口专属铃声我还留着却静静沉默在我们之间爱了放了散了我会不说不想说怕说了也没有用现在我的幽默只是掩饰着心痛我的难过聪明再多一些我走在没有你的世界却走不到永远慢慢闭上双眼

exam timetable

12-FEB-08 (TUE)
12:30PM - 02:00PM
BM0516
GLOBAL SUPPLY CHAIN MANAGEMENT (WK 18)
grp ZB
E.308
seat 19

13-FEB-08 (WED)
12:30PM - 02:30PM
IT3503
INTERNET SYSTEM SECURITY& ADMINISTRATION
grp 03
G.221 (Z3)
seat 141


Also, uni admission period. online application period- feb.
oversea uni preparation. (nz,ca)